Dear Artlady,

Hello and welcome to the most heartfelt, accepting place on the planet. Your story broke my heart to read and you're reacting normally, considering. I think you were noble in going to his home but I think he was rubbing your face in his happiness and that was pathetically wrong. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Considering how it affects you I would suggest against ever doing that again...if your sons don't understand then that's their problem.
Now, for your situation...grive but then try to move on. I think a part of your ex would be glad to know you've been knocked down so hard by seeing him and his life. Why give him the power you've allowed him to put upon you, taking your life and your spirit down anymore than he already has? (that is worded terribly but hopefully, you'll get my drift). He's not worth one more tear, one more missed day from your life or one more depressed moment. YOU have a life that God meant you to have...without him...and I know you're better off because of it. Reach deep inside you and pull out that inner strength that I know is there and do your best to come out of this sadness. I'm certain the holidays haven't helped at all.
Hold your head high and look at what you've done...and what you'll continue to do. You're a valuble woman with so much to give and it's his damn loss if he threw you away...not yours. Don't give that man one more ounce of your essence of life if it keeps you down. Let your light shine through because God gave you that light...not your ex. Your ex can dampen your spirit but never take it away...only you can do that...and I think you're better than that.
Welcome to BWS and this wonderful group of hyper sisters...we're here for you anytime.