Good one, Eagle...a healthy outlet for the anger and rage. These things make us so, SO angry! I missed that thought. So often we just curl up and want to die instead. Not good. Sometimes a good healthy very physical outlet is part of the deal and it can sometimes be amazing how it helps. Artlady, maybe try that and then pat yourself on the back for how you came through it all so successfully. And, yeah, stay away from him. You've found out the hard way that this type of thing is just not healthy for you. I would occasionally be in a social atmosphere with my ex for short periods and be somewhat okay but I never came out completely unscathed. Now I'm back at refusing to do it because my gut says so. Self preservation!