dancer, your statement "I could not understand WHY she wanted to keep him but she allowed all sorts of degradation to be visited upon her in the name of keeping her marriage." hit home very hard with me. While things are much tamer now than they'eve ever been, I also felt degraded but allowed it in the beginning "just to keep him." Yes, I know now that that's the sickest thing anyone could ever do. I know that after my 30 year marriage was over, I was not the same. I came out of a very restrictive lifestyle and went crazy like a college kid would after coming out of a too-strict home. I'm very, very ashamed of some of the things I allowed. And quite frankly, I am not over this yet. I've long since stood up for myself one thing at a time as I began to regain sanity. I don't know if most women our age can understand what I mean but it's very true. I look back in horror because I can hardly remember thinking much less anything else. I really lost myself when my marriage ended and had no idea who I was or who I was supposed to be. The p is the last of the outward problems now. In the past few months it's not happened like it used to but occasionally it comes about and I'm always so disappointed. I wonder what ever happened to me. What a life change.