Kate, that’s good if you can learn from your mother’s mistakes. So in a way she has taught you what not to do.

As for your mother going out for a coffee with a friend, I think that’s wonderful. She needs friends now, whether male or female, it doesn’t matter. Be glad that she isn’t just depending on you, but instead is looking out for herself. I would support it, and just be happy for her. Life is so short.