Quote:

My Dad had a go with the flow attitude, my Mom tends to be bitter and gets stressed out really quickly. I had a wonderful loving relationship with my Dad, she did not. I find this quite sad but only they know what went on in their marriage and it is not for me to know.

Also she has been through this many times. With her parents, a couple of her brothers (in the war) and other close people in her life. This is my first experience with losing a loved one in my adult life (lost my grandparents as a teen)
This is also the most devastating experience for me. I love my Mom but she is a prickly person. She holds on to the past and then brings it up constantly. My Dad was a real calm person and easy to talk to. If we disagreed with each other we would laugh about it and agree to disagree. My Mom gets all huffy if you disagree with her because she always has to be right.



I quite agree Kate that a child can never truly know how a parents' marriage is transformed over time.

My parents are still very much alive. In some ways the temperment of your father and mother is similar to mine. Yes, my mother does nag everyone, including father. And it truly amazes me (and siblings), that now it's just the 2 of them at home, that he has extreme patience to deal with her...and yea, just goes with the flow.

My only hope that I know my mother's resentment isn't him, and I believe my father knows this but more how she feels about herself. I do know that she knows she is extremely lucky to have been matched with a kind, patient and hardworking guy like my father. (My mother was a picture bride. My parents only wrote to each other for a few months between China and Canada.)

So I do consider their marriage and..the end result of us...as a family....not to bad in the end.

As I have said months ago, perhaps the greatest compliment to my father, is that his daughters have subconsciously selected their spouses/partners who have similar temperments as my father.
_________________________
http://cyclewriteblog.wordpress.com/ (How cycling leads to other types of adventures, thoughts)
http://velourbansism.wordpress.com