Your right, memories are best to hold on too. We talked about it tonight, she brought it up and here is the problem.
My Mom is upset with me because she thinks I like my Dad better, plain and simple. I don't like him better, just got along with him better.

She is angry with me because she has made me many needle point pictures and I don't hang them in my house. Well I hang two of them even though they are not my taste. I've put away the others for my kids. She thinks I should hang all of them in my home. I like modern and abstract type paintings, her pictures are in my opinion arts and craft type pictures. It's not like she drew the pictures or painted them, she copied a pattern. I appreciate all the hard work but have told her not to make me anymore. How many can I hang up anyway. She wants my entire house to be full of her arts and crafts and it's not just pictures. It's knick knacks everything she makes.

So, the jealousy comes into it once again, I don't like her pictures, so I am not getting my Dads picture. That is how she thinks and I'm letting it go. My Mom told me she doesn't care about my Dad's things and has no attachment to them.

She accused me of wanting the only painting that is worth anything which is so not true. She doesn't even know if it is worth anything. I give up really and am just letting it go. It's just not worth it.

My kids are doing ok, thanks. I'm not doing too good but it has only been just over a week. I'm getting out and not isolating myself, I'm just really sad and wake up crying some nights. I have dreams where I am crying in my dreams and I wake myself up.

My biggest concern is that I wonder where my Dad is. In these later years our roles reversed and I became the parent, so I worry about him like a parent would worry about their child. I also miss him.

I will never, ever please my mother and never could. I have no idea why I let her get to me so much. She can make me so angry. I thought I let go of all the anger from my childhood. She was a very jealous, critical mother and put me down. Maybe it's time to do some work in this area.
Kate