Thanks Chatty, that is what I am thinking. Also that he is just in another place and just because I can't see him, doesn't mean he is not there.

I feel a little better today but I know it will come and go.
Christmas was his favorite time of year and the kid in him came out. Not going to be easy but then Christmas is often difficult for many of us. When I go to the mall nearby to get my morning coffee all they are playing is Christmas music and it makes me cry everytime. I'm trying to stay away from malls for the time being.

I told my kids that we need to do things differently this year and invite some people for Christmas dinner who are lonely or also missing someone. Not sure at this point but I am going to go looking for them and put the word out that my home is open to them.
Kate