Kate,
It DOES feel like it will never get better, but it does. Slowly, moment by moment, one foot in front of the other, you get through. One day at a time - sometimes only one moment at a time. That's probably all you can handle for awhile, so be okay with that, it's okay to move at your own pace.

Wondering where they are is such a haunting question. One day they're here, vibrant, breathing, filling our lives with their presence - the next day they're utterly gone, and the silence is deafening and excruciating. And the part about wanting them back? I don't think that ever goes away, though the yearning becomes easier to co-exist with.

There probably are no words or books or wisdoms that can bring sustaining comfort right now - the hurt is just too big now, and the wound too raw for anyone, including yourself, to touch.

But Kate, I hope it helps to know that you are surrounded by our care and prayers, our love and what little comfort our presence here can provide. Although it feels like it, you're not alone. And your Dad is closer than you can feel right now. Talk with him. Hold one of his shirts close to you and let him hug you through your tears and pain. And lean on God - if you're anything like me, you might be angry with Him - that's okay! But even in the midst of your anger, you can still lean on Him and find compassion and comfort there.

Our hearts are with you. It doesn't feel like it's possible right now, but you will get through this. The hole never goes away, but time and love will help you through.