When Dancer started this thread, she said, "I know I am not yet finished dealing with it and changing because of it." I say very little to people who know me now and not then regarding my own issue(s) unless it directly relates and can be helpful. I'm not changing because of it either. On March 28, 1998 I was sitting in one of those wonderful coastal Maine seafood places with my husband and another couple. I had had three TIA's in two weeks but no doctor was deeply concerned enough. During dinner I started to feel as though I was in another place, a dream-like state. I remembered nothing more for 5 days. Later I was told that I began to look sleepy but disturbed, as though in pain. I tried to open my mouth to speak but nothing but odd noises came out and then I lost consciousness. I was in the middle of an ischemic stroke. During my 5 days of coma I remember nothing until I began to come around. I remember feeling very peaceful and unafraid even though I had significant memory problems. I entered rehab for a grueling 6 weeks to recover whatever I could. My left side was paralyzed and I was in a wheelchair. After going home I had a physical therapist at the hosue several times a week for months. Over the course of the next year and a half, I went from a wheelchair to a walker and onto a quad cane and finally to a regular cane. I had to learn to feed and dress myself and finally maneuver stairs and on and on. I have 90% back. If I'm tired, I sometimes experience some residual effects like foot drop now and have to be cautious. I truly began to live more after that time. I noticed every bird, smelled every flower....it was as though my senses had been reborn. My faith came alive like never before! My friends and family meant more than words can say. Secondly, in February of 2002 I felt a small pea sized lump in my left breast. AFter a mamogram and then an ultrasound I was advised to have a biopsy. I opted for an excisional biopsy. This is where God is so very good...the lump was only a cyst but the real problem was invasive lobular cancer located near the chest wall directly below the cyst! It gave me chills at the time to realize I may never have known soon enough without that little benign cyst. I had a mastectomy and reconstruction. This event is what I still deal with today. At the time, I was in the process of losing my husband of 30 years to another woman. I remember thinking very little of the surgery, treatments, etc. because all I cared about was saving my marriage. Well, the marriage was eventually lost but I've had a real awakening about the loss of my breast and the cancer...all these years later because I've never dealt with it at all. It's so important to deal with one's deep feelings about such losses in any health matter to be able to heal and move forward. Five years later and I'm missing my breast for the first time really, crying in the mirror and all of that...rather a delayed response! But I know that will also change my life and strengthen me eventually. So much to learn in life!