Hannelore, What you said about your son's living situation with this woman and her family, causes me to think that she, and possibly her family, are very happy that your son's family has excluded themselves from the wedding, and that this chain of events fits right in with her plans. I say this because when my husband and I went to our sons wedding in April, my new daughter-in-law's mother made it very clear to me that I was not wanted or needed at the wedding. She was very nasty all week long and made it very clear that as far as she was concerned she could fill the role of mother of the bride and groom. This woman did every thing she could to put herself between me and my son. It was an amazing thing to watch. Might your future daughter-in-law be jealous of the relationship that your son has with his family?

I know the pain that my husband and I have suffered because of this, and I sure hope that your family can get this reconciled before the wedding...