As long as your 2nd son knows how you and your hubby feel about this last name adaptation, that's good enough.

Let it go, Hannelore. Please. I'm thinking of the parents who have predominantly daughters and who have married. And not one has adopted nor hyphenated their maiden last name.

For a mixed racial couple, the last name is really can speak for itself on heritage and pride.

My parents have lost this one so far. Even for the daughter who married someone who is of CHinese descent.

YOu would not know from my nieces and nephews names, that they are half-Chinese. There is tremendous meaning and identity in this actually.

I understand traditionally some Germans have really long string of names. My partner's full name using his German first name encompasses 4 names --including his last name.
He has a hyphenated first name in German, that he claims proudly on his birth certificate and all his present legal documents. Hans-Jurgen. But most people use his English first name which he chose himself as a boy after arriving in Canada.

I actually found his German first name wierd...until I started to work for my present German company. Going to parties, I immediately with a smile introduce him wtih his German first name...it immediately establishes an "in" for him (he does know some German) and myself.

As for the "pain" of long, hyphenated last names. Well, I guess. Imagine having a Greek last name. 1 name can have over 15 letters.