Hannelore, I can't be too understanding of your sons because I would definitely feel the same way. Carrying on one's name and heritage is....well, something we hope for. But it sounds like your first son got the blessing to change his name because of his wife but son #2 isn't faring so well. Looking at the big picture and a hundred years from now (and all that stuff) I guess it won't matter but I DO so understand why it would upset you and your husband. It's one of those disappointments that kids pass on when you never would expect it. I know this is no help to you really but I certainly do empathize with your feelings.
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If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane ~ Jimmy Buffett