I would really appreciate hearing your opinions on the following.

We have two sons. Our youngest son married two years ago and took on his wife’s name since she is a known athlete, and would have identity problems if her name were changed. My husband and I accepted our son changing his name for this reason.

Now our oldest son wants to marry. His wife-to-be wants to keep her maiden name. Our oldest son said he doesn’t want a double name, and came over tonight to tel us that he will be changing his last name to his wife’s name… and then added sheepishly (because he does feel guilty about this), hope that we don’t mind.

Well we do mind. It’s not like our name is Mr. and Mrs. Skunk-Doo-Doo or something. We have a perfectly normal name. We tried to explain to our son that it is difficult for us to accept the fact that we have two sons, and neither of them will carry our family name.

My son suggested I call my future DIL. I asked her to please understand that for us it is an awkward situation. When we introduce each one of our sons with another last name, …well, …it looks like they both had different fathers. Of course I got the standard, “What do you care what other people think.” I just want to add that in Germany people do not go by their first names unless they are family or very close friends.

I’m hurt that my future DIL and my son don’t understand us at all, and are being totally stubborn about this. Her maiden name is just as common as ours, and when I asked her why, … she just said “because.” I also got to tell you that she comes from a gigantic family… We are only three people representing our side of the family : me, Hubby and my other son. We’re just a tiny drop in their family clan bucket anyway. Ugh! I’m getting so mad while typing this.

My husband is as disappointed as I am. It’s only a name… I know…but it’s also the principle. Tell me please, am I being ridiculous about this, or would you all react the same way?