I just wanted to put in my two cents about this. I have been divorced for ten years now and the healing is all done.
I remember my first Christmas on my own. It was terrible. On Christmas morning my ex came to the door to collect my three children. The two youngest were 3 and 2. He brought his girlfriend (the one he cheated with) and off they went. I still remember the little ones with their teddies getting in the car with her. I felt so empty and betrayed. That Christmas day I spent all alone watching old movies and feeling sorry for myself. I could have gone to my parents but didn't as I was so down.

The next year though I spent the day at the Salvation Army feeding the homeless and every Christmas since I have kept busy with friends or volunteering.

My memories are faded and I bare no hard feelings for the ex. He has had many girlfriends since and has even had another child and has step children. Each time he has a new girlfriend they are so nice to my kids trying to win them over. I have had to bite my tongue off to not say anything when my kids talk about how nice they are. They don't do that anymore as the relationships don't last very long. Although they love their Dad and so they should, they know what he is like. I remember my daughter wanting to give his girlfriend a Christmas present. She didn't want to ask her Dad as he never gives them money. Yes I've even bought Christmas presents for him and his girlfriend of the moment and even her kids because my kids don't like to go over on Christmas empty handed. The ex has never done that for me but it doesn't matter. I want my kids to learn the joy of giving, to be generous even if it is with my money now. The lesson is learned and that's all that counts.

My divorce and the pain of it is a distant memory and I am thankful for that. Time does heal.

I just hope it heals for what I am going through now with the loss of my Dad. This is huge for me and every day has been a struggle. I know in time it will get better, but at the moment it is so painful.

Here's to all the single, separated and newly divorced women. It will get better. And just keep loving your kids no matter what the situation is at the moment. Things can change and they often do. Nothing stays the same. When your kids grow up they will remember how you were always there for them. Don't give up hope.
Kate