Hi everyone,

Thought I would post an update.

I think I've been taken a little by surprise how hard the holiday would be on me this year. This is the first year in 18 years that I haven't celebrated Christmas with my children.

I was watching Mark (my guy) with his son decorate the Christmas tree - and had to keep going to the bathroom to cry. Austin looked at me (he's 8) at one point and said, "Danita, are you ok? Your eyes are purple". How cute. I was desperate to leave the house - to go get my nails done - but just hung in there for our "family day".

Since then, I'm doing better. I guess because I know now to expect it.

Got to see my beautiful 18 year old daughter this week. She just moved to a new apartment (with her boyfriend). Mark and I were driving by her town to go to a meeting - so I brought her a HUGE basket of house-warming goodies. She was so tickled. I love that girl. She is a mirror of me. She introduced me to a friend and said, "this is what I'm going to look like when I grow up". Is that precious or what?

Went to court with my ex last week. He filed a motion to change child support and maintenance. God has given me an INCREDIBLE woman attorney (who is affordable). He was totally unprepared (and had no attorney), kept trying to slander me (and the court facilitator kept stopping him)...and the long and short of it is - because we could not agree on anything - we go before a judge in March. He was EXTREMELY frustrated because he believed by slandering me and telling the court it was time I start taking care of myself - that he was going to be able to get out of paying maintenance (it's only been a year).

He looks like hell. Literally. He wears his guilt on his face.

The downside of the meeting is that of course he dragged (is that a word) my son into it. He has been airing his side of the story quite liberally (he IS the victim, don't you know).

So, my first instinct knowing that my 16 year old son somehow sees ME as the bad guy - is to walk away from my relationship with him. But the intuitive side says, "stay in the game - keep loving him from afar - some day it will pay off".

This has gotten so ugly.

Anywho. Life goes on.

God is good, HE is able, and HE is enough.

I take it one day at a time, one moment at a time...and the good Lord has seen fit to put incredible women into my life, who have lifted me up, and helped me to stay in the game.

Thank you ladies, for being there!

Thankful hugs,

danita