Danita, oh how I can relate, albeit for different reasons. No matter how we lose someone, whether through death, divorce or any circumstance that breaks that bond, I think that the core of our grief stems from the loss of relationship with that person and all the possibilities that existed within the context of that relationship .

There are so many facets to grief, one of the most painful for me being the loss of the hopes and dreams that we have carried deep in our hearts for so long, assumptions for the future, and dreams that are intricately woven around and through another person's being and presence in our lives. I'm finding that one of the primary sources of my own agony comes from all of the plans that I unknowingly carried in my heart for a future that just automatically included that person and everything we would have/should have been doing together. It's excruciating, especially when we encounter times and activities when those "would haves, should haves" would have come into play. That's when we most feel the difference between what our hearts had planned for us, and what our reality is in that here-and-now.

My heart is with you in this grief...oh how I know the agony of absence, not only of the person but perhaps moreso of the future we had carried so long in our hearts that can't happen now.

BUT, I do believe that a BETTER future is unfolding for us, with new possibilities and new relationships...it doesn't completely assuage the aching void, but for me it does help me keep moving ahead, even when the tears keep me from seeing where I'm going!