yesterday was a good day with my MIL. her growing dementia creates problems with her and her 6 sisters. they have always been very close with only minor problems between them but MIL is now accusing one of them of being mean to her. last year it was a different one. the list of supposed wrongs has been growing since fall.

i get calls from both of them. MIL calls to repeat the offenses, aunty calls to make sure we still love her in light of MIL's accusations. i do know it is all in MIL's imagination. she will take an innocent word or gesture, fume about it until it becomes a huge incident in her mind, then lash out.

she called me on friday to invite me to lunch on saturday with "people I want to be with". (the sisters always meet for lunch on saturdays so she was avoiding lunch with them.) i told her i'd pick her up and we'd meet my SIL near where she works for lunch. i got 4 subsequent calls from her telling me that we should eat near where SIL works so we could meet her for lunch. each time i have to pretend its the first time we've had this discussion.

so,,,,i picked her up at noon. SIL couldn't get off work so we went to lunch, shopped at a jewelry store where she enjoyed looking at her birthstone jewelry, picked up a few groceries, then went to have manicures together. she had never had a professional manicure so really enjoyed that. every time she started to go into the woes with her sister, i didn't try to defend the sister, just told MIL she would have to put it aside because she was only hurting herself by holding on to hurt feelings. then i would change the subject as quickly as possible.

after i took her home, she called me on my cell before i even got home to tell me how much she enjoyed the day and that she loves me. this is a woman who has never been very affectionate so i guess miracles really do still happen!

[ January 29, 2006, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: flipperjo ]