I know this is an older topic, and I've been gone for a long time, but I just have to update my previous post about the younger guy here at work and myself.

I opened a myspace account under the name AarikaK (which will be my new name after the name change) just for grins and giggles. Well, I got such an enormous reaction that I just cancelled it completely and most, I'd say 95% of the respondents were young men from 18-48.

At first I was sort of flattered, but then it became a burden. I found myself spending way too much time updating the space and trying to correspond. So many of them, and the nicer ones, wanted to meet at a hotel or at my house....ya, right??!! I couldn't handle it..honestly!

So, the guy at work is the apple of my eye. He is gorgeous, courteous, intelligent and I'm positively obsessed with him at this point and now am trying to back way, way off. He could hurt me real bad.

Ladies, I think that at the age of 16 I experienced an emotional "marker" in my life and as a result, emotional growth stopped at that marker. In some ways that is a bad thing, but in many ways it has been a blessing as most of our aging and just emotional/mental state originates in the mind anyway, which is the seat of hormonal production and in turn sexual deterioration or slowed advancement.

I think 18, therefore I AM 18 in many, many ways. This is just something I've recently learned. Basically, I'm a freak. The younger women hate me or copy my "style". Out of the older ones I work with, only one is my good friend and she is so sweet and a professional who has fallen on some hard times. She knows all about the guy and she's cool with it.

I've never felt so isolated as I am right now though. For the first time in my life I realize just what a freak I really am and wonder if there ever will be a place in this world for me, one that I will be comfortable in.