It is absolutely doable with 22 yr olds. I think you should expect some rent in return for a roof over his head, also that he pays for food if you are doing the shopping and he is eating at home. I remember you saying in another post Dotsie that you eat out regularly, so if he joins you for a meal at a restaurant he should be paying his way there too. There are no free rides, as they say. I just think it teaches them respect and independence.

My eldest daughter and SIL, recently asked for help (Money) to buy a house . It didn't take long (about 3 seconds) to say NO. She knows I don't have bucket loads of money and that I am doing all I can to be able to support myself after retirement, so I was mightily offended, and I had a good 'chat' to her about it.

My youngest daughter heard about it and was appalled that her sister would do such a thing. She said "Mum you've worked hard for what you've got, she should do the same if she wants a house" (that's what I was thinking too) Guess it depends on their individual personalities.

So I think a lot will depend on your sons personality and attitude towards you, but I would recommend sitting him down and explaining perhaps that you are over the late night thing, and value your peace & quiet and privacy these days.

Maybe let him know that your home is your sanctuary, and after a hard days work you really look forward to relaxing and spending some quality time together. Tell him that you don't want to be coming home to a mess that you have to clean up, nor worry about the comings & goings at all hours.

I think if you are up front and let him know how you feel and that you DO need your space, and that he is now a guest in the house as an adult who is visiting, he will be more likely to understand where you are coming from, and be less likely to treat your home as a free motel. I'm not saying he will, but some do.

I would also set a time limit... 3mths?, 6mths?. That way you know when everything will return to normal again, and it would also give him a time frame to work with so that he can set a budget for his savings.

I know as parents that we always want to do our best for our children, and I know my comments may sound pretty harsh & tough, but I have seen with my own eyes on several occaisions where Mums & Dads have been treated like nothing matters, and I don't think that's acceptable.

I have also found over the years that children look to parents to set boundaries and guidlines. It makes them feel that you care and love them and provides them with a sense of security. I've noticed with my children that it doesn't change much as they get older.... they still need to be reminded of the boundaries

Good luck Dotsie, hope it goes well for you, and you actually get to enjoy your sons visit.