Mine's only 17 coming up 18, so he still has rules, like what time does he plan coming home, and how, and I will usually wait up (italian mamma mode) but then I am a night bird myself, so it's no hardship.

No doubt stuff will change once he goes away (and out of this country) in September, but on his return for holidays I will continue to expect to know times of return and how he is getting back, mostly because I hate mopeds and mopeds are the thing here, and I do not want him taking a ride on one from a friend.

I long ago stopped trying to keep his bedroom tidy: if he wants to live in a mess, let him.
By the same token I have stopped ironing for him, as he wears stuff once and then throws it in a ball somewhere. Sorry chum, I'm not that type of mum