Mitzkity, I'm slowly walking out the door of this relationship. I finally figured out that I've been taking care of others ever since I was old enough to hold a dish cloth and sweep the floor.
For only a brief moment in my life I got to be just who I am and take care of myself. I was so amazed at the fantastic female I was during that time. I travelled to Europe by myself and made all the connections to create my own business in France. Met and stayed with French nationals and their family. I shone like a bright star for nearly a year, then I came shooting down and "stabilized". Became a good mom and normal like everybody else my age and position in life.

Now I'm seeing the merit again of living on my own without the husband I now have. I can fully understand a man like him who is retired and an alcoholic party boy, not wanting kids or anything else interfering with his lifestyle. If I hear one more time how, "I'm not going to take care of anyone else's damned grandkids. I'm retired and that's not the way I want to spend my retirement." Meantime, I'm not going to be able to retire until I'm at least 62 and possibly much later to get the full amount.