Wow, this topic sure hits home! I was constantly belittled as a child - by my parents. I could never be good enough for them. I guess I never really had an 'AHA' moment. My recovery was gradual - after I realized that it really wasn't my fault that my hubby was an alcoholic and drug abuser (something he kept telling me all our married life.) He is long gone, and my self esteem can still be shaky. But I have decided that I'm worth it, I'm good enough, and whatever others think about me has nothing to do with me but is all about them. Every time I hear myself say, "I can't do that" I tell myself that 'yes, I can,' if that's what I really want to do. I can't please anyone else but me.

My parents tried putting me down again when I went to college for the first time at almost 40. I didn't listen to them and went on to earn a master's. I'm proud of my accomplishments now, no matter how small they seem to someone else, to me they're huge! My current partner admires me, and that has really helped. One other thing I just thought about is being able to accept compliments with just a 'thank you.' I used to turn away compliments by saying things like 'it was nothing' or 'it's no big deal.' But it is a big deal because it means I'm being noticed and am no longer the cringing wallflower hiding in the corner. And it feels great!