I have always believed that to be a loving and great person to be around, you have to be happy with yourself first. And no one should feel guilty about what makes them feel happy. I agree with Dotsie, let's remove the SHOULDS from our life.

I never had my own children, but have had children in my life for years. There were times I felt the universal "they" were telling me what I should do for these children and how I should feel about it. I ended up feeling guilty about either not wanting to do what I should do and doing it anyway and hating the experience, or feeling guilty about not doing it at all. This is not a way to be a happy person.

And JJ with the boundaries - everyone really wants to know what is okay and not okay, otherwise we are always needing to test the other person. This way neither person is happy because we never know what to expect.

Grandparents should be special for grandchildren. And this can look so different for everyone. One of my grandmothers did not like children a whole lot, and when we were with her, no one had fun. The other grandmother was hooked on crafts and loved being with us. I loved staying at her house because she wanted me there. I loved both of them, but our time together looked very different.

You will resolve this and hopefully to a happy conclusion for all.