I'm sorry you are feeling so low, Mrs. Madness! Our sexual beings are so important. And it's important that we satisfy ourselves (by ourselves, if we must), just to keep the juices flowing.

It sounds like you both made some bargains at the beginning of the marriage, even if they were unspoken. By not having a honeymoon, it seems that you agreed that your needs were not important, that bringing home a paycheck and mowing the lawn were things that you expected. I would assume, although you don't say, that your part of the bargain was to raise the children and keep the house.

In my experience (and I've been divorced three times and now married to a wonderful man) and training (I'm a coach), the most important part of any relationship is you. You need to really define who you are, what you want, and what you need. You need to acknowledge the agreements that you have made -- either consciously or unconsciously. Dotsie's suggestion of taking time for yourself is a good one.

Once you have done that, you'll know the needs that you can get met outside your marriage and what you desire in it. Orchid's suggestion of really fully living your own life is also good.

It's amazing what can happen when you start making changes on yourself. Your husband may take notice and start paying attention. Or not. In the latter case, then you can start having discussions with him about what you need and want.

These are all my opinions. I hope they are helpful, but feel free to toss them on the rubbish heap if they don't make sense to you! :-))