To be perfectly honest, I'm strongly considering leaving the marriage. Of course I'm terrified of making that leap and looking back on it in a year or two and thinking it was the biggest mistake of my life. Some mistakes, once made, cannot be undone yeah?

And of course a huge issue is that (1) I'm in Russia so it's a little more complex than just getting in the car and driving down the road and (2) I have nowhere to go. But I don't want to let the fear of the unknown keep me stuck in what is looking like, a more and more empty marriage.

I dunno, I'm thinking thinking thinking. And I'm reading your replies.