As many of you know I have a drug addict son, age 22 and two other children 13 and 14. My eldest has lived with me until age 18 when I kicked him out as he was not working, not going to school, just doing drugs and sleeping all day. I had no choice but to move him out because of the influence on my younger two but he kept coming back and was constantly in and out of jail. I got no help from the ministry of children and was in a catch 22 situation because by letting him stay I was harming my younger two, but the ministry would not remove him. I wanted him to go to a group home as he was out of control but I was on my own. At the moment he lives elsewhere and I have requested he not come to the house that I will meet him at the coffee shop for visits or at his place. I don't want him around my other two children.

Anyway I know some damage has already been done. My 13 year old son has changed drastically since last year. He is secretive and I have been trying to get on to his msn but he has a password. Somehow I managed to get some info from the history area and I was shocked. He has been experimenting with drugs and sex. He has had a girlfriend for the past four months. He has regular weekend sleep overs at his boy friends house. On his msn I found out that one of the nights that he was supposed to be sleeping over at his friends, he actually slept over at his girlfriends. I have no idea where her parents were. I do know that the one friends room is down the basement and the parents seem oblivious about what goes on with their kids. I am not judging them as I am finding out that I don't know much either. When my son does have sleep overs at my house I know where they are as all three bedrooms are beside each other.
Today I found out that there is going to be a large fight after school and called the principal to give her a heads up. She is going to put a stop to it before it happens. There are two schools involved. She is going to call the other school, check the students lockers for weapons and let the students know that the police will be involved to scare them into not doing this again.

The fact that my son has become so angry since last year really concerns me and I am unfortunately finding out that he is someone that I cannot trust. I am at a loss as to what measures to take. I try to give them their privacy (my Mom was always in my stuff) but now that I know what is going on I of course have to do something. I am going to stop all sleep overs at his friends house which will put my son into a rage. What would you do? If I tell him that I read his emails he will be angry that I went into his private mail, but at the same time he is heading for real trouble. He is failing at school as well and seems to gravitate towards kids in the same situation.
Comments more than appreciated.
thanks,
Kate