Thanks all. Yesterday was such a low day for me. The weekend doctor wasn't very hopeful for Gary, and it pulled the rug out from under my feet. It took me HOURS to stop crying, and you won't believe who ended up helping me put that rug back under my feet. It was the woman in the room beside Gary's. Her name is also Sharon, and she's an amazing woman, on the healing side of her own brutal battle with cancer. She's making awesome advances in her recuperation.

Anyway, she caught me out in the hallway trying to compose myself, took my arm (pushing her pole full of dripping blood and other assorted IV's in her other hand) and took me for a long walk around and around the floor. We found a quiet niche with some comfy chairs in a secluded part of the hallway and talked for about an hour. She was so strong and assured me that there's more to the human spirit than the doctors can ever imagine. It ain't over, she said. Gary's got a lot of fight and commitment left in him. So she told me that I had to take that rug and put it back under my own feet and walk with faith that Gary WILL pull through, because it's the only way we can tolerate the daily trudge through this hell - the belief that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel and we're getting there one step, one setback, one blood transfusion, one day at a time.

Put that together with my overwhelming sense of being lifted up here at BWS, and I was able to find my solid ground again.

Dotsie, I finished Never Alone yesterday, and only have a few pages of Joshua left. Will re-start Never Alone later today, it was such a perfect companion over these past weeks.

As far as taking care of myself, there just isn't much time or opportunity right now. Gary's totally incapacitated right now, can't even reach for a spoon or glass of water off his tray. So I'm there 8-10 hours every day now, though I do get up and walk around, chat with other patients' caregivers, do some Tai Chi exercises, pray A LOT (and not just for Gary, for others that God brings to my mind as well; and I often just spend time with Him not even saying anything at all, just resting my spirit in His Presence), chat with the nurses, etc. Hubby takes amazingly good care of me, making sure I eat, and snuggling me well when I get home and finally nestle into him in bed at night. So it's a rough course, but lots of little lights and love along the way. This too shall pass. Short term pain for long term gain. And God knows the way through, so I'm in good hands and great company. And with all of the prayers lifting me/us up, I do feel well-wrapped in love. And that makes all the difference.