My parents divorced when I was seven. My Mum did not ever confide anything in me. this was as bad as confiding too much. Kids need to know something, but not everything. I am interested in the view that kids be able to choose where to live. I wonder if that piles too much guilt on to the kids?? I know that I would have felt awful for the other parent if I had to choose to live with one. As it was, I did not have to make that choice and that sat well with my seven year old mind. My brother left to live with my Dad for his teenage years, when my Mum was findng his behaviour uncontrolable. It did my brother good. My brother came back to live with my mum from about 20 until he was killed at 22. So it was good really for all concerned - I suppose I am trying to say that it will work out in the end, as Kate says, you will all eventually move on and it will be OK.