Wow.
What you are experiencing just confirms my belief that the legal system causes as many problems as it resolves. While I didn't have legal problems with my ex-, I've been in enough courts with my son to have some experience. The following are my thoughts (not legal advice) -- take what you like and leave the rest.

I believe in truth and in stating the truth. Therefore, I believe your attorney needs to file something in writing that says your ex has stated that he has no knowledge of the compromises you have offered. That should flush out the liar between the two. It will at least get the focus where it belongs.

See if you can get your lawyer to change judges. It's possible, I think. And I have found it makes all the difference in the world.

Dotsie is right. You need support. I got through my divorce (and it wasn't nearly this traumatic) with help from friends. It took a while. I took a lot of time working on myself before I seriously looked at another man. Good ones are out there, but it takes a while to find them and we have to be whole people, totally willing and happy to live on our own for the rest of our lives if need be. Then we are whole enough to attract a man who is whole enough to deserve us.

I've been married almost three years to the most wonderful man in the world for me.

HUGS Take care of yourself. And your boys. They will be o.k. eventually. It's tough now, but what they need most is to see you reach out for help from others. That way, they know that that's o.k. You sound like you are doing so very well by them.

Your in our prayers.