You ladies are truly inspirational. Thank you everyone for your concern, commiserates and comments. I too have found support from my family. As it turns out no one really liked the soon 2BX and merely tolerated him for my sake. He had the nerve to contact them and try to rally them into his camp-he was cut down quick.

He's fortunate that I'm a kind individual and even though he's being a complete a-hole, I remember that I'm a Christian and refuse to engage in mud-slinging. But don't get it twisted, he's about to realize that the degrees hanging on the wall mean that I earned my PHD in business and have no problem handlin' my own. So "Starting Over" be sure to keep track of all your household expenditures and what he spends his money on. I don't think the judge will look too favorably on documentation that shows while I've been paying utilities and prescription copays he's been buying golf clubs and dvd movies. He needs to be buying essentials for his new place of residence because he's getting out of here! Even though I can't make him leave, I've made life uncomfortable. For example, he doesn't eat pork, so for dinner last week I cooked pork chops, ham, polish sausage, baby back ribs and ordered a meat lover's pizza. I think I'll try that new recipe for pork shish-ka-bobs...

Unfortunately, I live in a state with a court system of equitable distribution which can be a double edged sword. If I prove that I deserve more equity because of my having higher earnings, I end up setting myself up to pay him alimony and child support (even if I have the kids. Simply because the minimum of time they spend with him, he would need child support to provide for them. The court views that the children's level of lifestyle should be consistent between both parents; that's fine in most cases but basically I'll have to pay for him to visit his kids - go figure!)

I've realized that success is the best revenge. I don't have to do or say anything negative because everyone sees his detrimental behavior. I am just keeping a record of it. Now that he realizes he can no longer push my buttons he gets more and more irrational and irritated. It seems he feels more in control of a situation when he knows he's upset me. So now I maintain a calm demeanor no matter what he tries. He's tried alot and its certainly not easy but I remember that commercial "never let them see you sweat."

I've taken the steps I need to move on and I am building a great life for me and my kids. Yes around him still being in the house. He's seen how easily I've been able to establish a new life without him and now realizes just how little he contributed. His new tactic is to purposely create drama just so it can look like he's super dad coming in to save the day. So even when I feel that this divorce may take weeks, months or years, I just keep in mind how much better the future will be.

In the midst of all this, people are now telling me how great I look!!! This merely confirms that even though I'm going through all this turmoil of divorce, it's still easier than the hell that was my marriage.