Do you set a budget for shopping or do you spend, spend? Every year we talk about setting limits, and every year comes and goes and we never do. Do you try to keep it all even between the kids?

Every year for the past three years, we've set out a budget, lowering our Christmas expenses each year, with the goal in mind of significantly decreasing our limit by next Christmas.

However, with the arrival of a new baby at the end of November, and juggling the physical/emotional needs of my sick brother this Christmas (as well as dealing with my own fear of the future where my brother is concerned), we've ended up spending a lot more than anticipated or budgeted. But since this is a "special needs" Christmas for a few family members (especially my brother and our 5-year-old granddaughter [sister to the new arrival] who's afraid of being left out and pushed aside), we've decided to just throw away the budget this year and start over at a lower limit again next year!

Every year we say we are going to set lower limits, but never seem to do it. I say I'm going to start cutting out the older nieces, nephews, etc. and just buy for the little ones, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I think next year with new grandchildren and all, we are going to have to. Time for the younger ones, I think.

As far as my kids, I always spend the same on my daughter and my son. My husband buys for his kids and does the same. We both buy special gifts for each other's kids, just from us. We keep that even too. My son always says his sister gets more. It's become a family joke. When they were little, she took so long to open her gifts and he ripped through his, so it seemed to him that she "got more." Now that he is older, he likes one big gift usually. Like this year, he wants gift certificates to Best Buy so he can get a new tv. I will give him one substantial gift card. His sister likes opening little things, so I usually get her one good gift and then a lot of little stuff. She ends up with a pile of gifts and it starts. Now, my daughter says that once the baby is here, she won't get as much. They love to tease me about this, but they really know they get the same and they do they spend more than they should on us.

I try to set a soft budget number, and usually go a little over. The older the kids get, the more expensive their toys! Ryan (age 15) wanted a nice digital camera this year, so I told him if he got that, he would only get a few other small items, and he's fine with that.

Another question - when the kids are little and living at home, we bought multiple presents. Once they move out, when do you start tapering down the number of gifts, or do you?

Kathy

I have a tentative budget that I try to stick with. It includes, the kids, (and now the grandbaby!), inlaws, parents, and charities. Each year, I spend "about" the same. This year, my husband and I sent our mothers flowers for Christmas. We thought it'd be a nice change from what we usually do which is send them fruit from Florida.

Well, Kathy, you can try As I said before, my son usually has something in mind, which is great. It's easier for me if I can buy him one thing that he really needs/wants. Less time trying to figure out what to get him, less shopping time, carrying big bags around and less wrapping. One year, I bought him a digital camera and just a few other small things, socks, wallet, etc. But, my daughter never really asks for anything that's very expensive. I used to buy her clothes, and girl things and we did each other stockings with lots of little stuff. Last year, we got each other gift certificates to places we like such as Elizabeth Grady for facials, nail places, the mall, favorite restaurants and she got me one for the bookstore that came in handy. This year, we are doing pretty much the same thing. I got her a mall one so that she could go shopping after the baby is born. I'm sure she'll need new clothes. This will be the first year we are not doing the stockings. I'll wrap each gift certificate so she has more to open.
Louisa

I started buying my married son one nice gift and my DIL one but then always buy something nifgty for ther house thats for them both. Cut the older kids down to one personal gift each and something Christmacy for their homes, when they moved away from home and got their own places. I give Jason whos 16, money and a gift certificate to a swanky mens clothing store,(he loves clothes) and allthe hugs he can stand. He was easier to shop for when he was below the age of 13..

I have four brothers and one sister. We stopped exchanging gifts a long time ago and just buying for the nieces and nephews. However, my sister and I still exchange gifts. Sisters, (as we know) are different. We look forward to the gifts from each other. We both love Swarovski crystal and we both love jewelry. I bought her a little Swarovski animal last year and this year I got her another one. She has bought me three lovely Lenox musical figurines the last 3 years. I can hardly believe Christmas is just about here.
Louisa

Louisa, those sound like lovely gifts. I would have a problem putting them somewhere, though. We haven't downsized yet, but I know you have. How do you do it? That's why we prefer to receive and give gifts like massage gift certificates, food, candles, theatre or concert tickets, anything that can be used up.

I have a firm budget and stick to it. I also remember that I am shopping for presents and not for myself. I don't buy anything for myself from November 1 until after Christmas day. I even buy my winter vacation package before November 1.

Okay - is this a truth or a lie?