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#9866 - 12/28/05 09:45 PM so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Hi all, I need to vent, need everyone's prayers. Divorce date is FEb 6. Husband is going all out to 'court' me back (all of a sudden) In the last 2 weeks I have gotten flowers delivered, Christmas presents via UPS, text messages at least once a day, e-mails, phone messages. All honey this and Sweetie that. Yesterday I got a 5 page letter stating that God had directed him to continue this onslaught until the divorce/reconsiliation. He listed that he would do this through continued e-mail, text messages ect. He would shower me with gifts etc.--until I let my guard down enough for hugs, kisses, etc.

After many months of not communicating w/him I e-mailed him yesterday. I told him to stop. Stop calling, stop everything. Stop sending gifts and send $$ to pay our bills. So today I got an e-mail tirade of how everything is my fault, I am in sin and God will not bless me if I pursue this divorce and he has accused me of an affair I never had--said he 'heard about it and forgives me'.

At the end he says I have 3 choices. 1. Cease and reconcile marriage. 2. Cease and settle divorce out of court (this means he gets 1/2 and no responsibility to bills) 3. If I want an all out war in court I'll get it.

I've never had an affair so I guess that is in there as a threat that he will accuse me of that in court. I can't believe it. What am I supposed to do?

This is the man who was downloading child porn off the internet and later confessed to gay encounters.

Please pray for me. I am getting very worried that he will come out of this smelling very sweet and I will be completely ruined reputation and financially. I am very frazzled today.

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#9867 - 12/28/05 09:53 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
You are supposed to pray for the truth to be told and for God to be there with you. You should stay at peace and not stoop to his level. Is there any record of his porn and gay encounters in the divorce proceedings?
If your husband really thought God was on his side, he would not be using all these human tactics to frantically try to stop the divorce.
I will pray for the Holy Spirit to direct your words and actions and for you to be totally at peace with everything.
P.S. He's not violent, is he? If so, make sure you have people around you especially as the date gets closer.

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#9868 - 12/28/05 09:54 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Here's a ((HUG)) for you.

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#9869 - 12/28/05 10:08 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Starting Over,
I will pray for you today and on Feb. 6 also. You have the right to be angry. If you don't fight it or feel guilty for it, anger can energize you for the battles you face. Anger is not a sin. The Bible says "Be angry and sin not." And even Jesus was angry at the desecration of the Temple. God is with you. Give Him your anger and he will give you peace.

You are in the hands of God and no matter how viciously you are attacked, God will be with you. Your morality is not determined by a man or by a court, but by God who knows your heart.

Surround yourself with our prayers and feel the peace that only God can bring.

smile

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#9870 - 12/28/05 10:24 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Yes, I actually filed on the grounds of his being investigated for child porn, so it will be part of divorce proceedings. He is currently waiting for sentenceing in federal court on those charges.

I know I'm doing the right thing. The bible even says flee from anyone involved in such things and in another place it says don't even eat with someone who is involved in such things. I have counseled with 4 pastors, all said to divorce so I am OK--I just can't stand the manipulation and underlying threats--it rattles me horribly.

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#9871 - 12/28/05 11:22 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Anonymous
Unregistered


Starting Over:

Two (2) things:

1. (((((( H U G ))))))

2. Prepare some type of timeline indicating the date & time of each email, phone message, gift and threat and provide this to the police. Especially the message regarding the 3 choices he provided the later of the 3 which is considered a threat. You can also call you local domestic violence center. Bottom line: you are not playing games, you mean business. Get A Restraining ORDER! First, ask you attorney, and if your attorney has a paralegal, ask her first if this would be a paramount move, b/c speaking w/ a paralegal cost less than the attorney!

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#9872 - 12/29/05 01:25 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
He sounds to me like a very scared man that is trying everything to NOT have to go to court. Stand tough, hold your ground, you will win this and the accusations of an affair without concrete proof, pictures with the other man and I mean in bed not just out to dinner. You didn't do any of that anyhow so its a dead issue...These rotten bastards are liike bad little boys first they try and bribe us with gifts and by making nice then when we say NO they get all nasty. If any of his latest lies were true he would not get nasty no matter waht. You have more than 3 choices but he seems to know he has NONE and is petrified....Steer clear of this creep and stay safe....

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#9873 - 12/29/05 02:22 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Songbird Offline
Member

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Dear Startingover: God is with you and He will see you through this ordeal. I'll be praying for you. Remember God is by your side. He will fight your battles.

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free-John 8:32.

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#9874 - 12/29/05 02:49 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Thanks all, he just left me another voice mail. This time he is saying let's just use a mediator and get this over with since that is what I want. He has volunteered to pay for it. Says attorneys aren't good at negotiating, etc.

I checked into a mediator over a year ago and he said they wanted a ridiculous amount of money and he wouldn't help pay it. Funny how now it's suddenly let's do this....

I'll bet when he ordered the bank records for the deposition he found he had no leg to stand on, that's why he canceled the dep, got all nicey, nice and wants to by-pass attorneys again.

I keep telling him I won't sign anything without representation but he just doesn't get the message.

This is so hard. You want to be fair and not mean, but unless I act mean he doesn't take me seriously and tries to push his wishes on me. Even though I knew the nice act wasn't for real, there was still a piece of me that had hopes--not to get back with him, but just that he might try to be genuine and nice to me--it really hurts--all over again to know he would be willing to trick me back into a relationship just to avoid being responsible in divorce.

Then to know if he succeeded, I would be trapped again or worse--it is unbelieveable that anyone can be so cold and calculating. It is scary to think about--even scarier to realize that he pulled this twice before and did succeed--thank God I can now see the pattern.

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#9875 - 12/29/05 03:32 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
You can be firm without being mean. It helps when you talk to him to actually speak quieter than normal. Then he'll know you are serious but not vindictive.

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#9876 - 12/29/05 05:16 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
yepthatsme2 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
I've been there with the fair and not mean part... you are not being mean.
He's trying to guilt you.
You really do know what he is up to, the same old tricks. Keep right on the course you've been on, change nothing.
God will stand right by your side, and not leave you. Everything will come out...just as it should.

I'll be praying for you. He's with you.

[ December 28, 2005, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: yepthatsme2 ]

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#9877 - 12/29/05 07:04 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
Starting over, he thinks your going to cave and will get his way if you don't have representation. Don't let him take your financial future away from you. Eventually he'll realize you have a backbone and won't take his crap any longer.

Just think, 2006 will be THE YEAR you will be free! Then you can truly start a new life for yourself!

Daisygirl

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#9878 - 12/30/05 08:20 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Starting Over...please listen to the advice of all of these wise women who have posted above me..and know too that I am praying for you as well...your reputation won't be ruined as you have done nothing wrong...if accusations are thrown your way remain calm and steadfast in your dismissal of them (you notice I didn't say denial) be dismissive and have your lawyer object as well for the record...perhaps we can all meet here on the evening of Feb 6th to celebrate your new life and to toast you...never hesitate to vent...that's why we are here

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#9879 - 12/30/05 08:41 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
Starting over, one thing I learned through my divorce is that these cheaters know deep inside that they are not doing the right thing. The one thing they would love to do is get something on you. Just continue to be your good self and he won't ever get that satisfaction.

Remember, 2006 is YOUR YEAR! It will be more peaceful and you will be able to relax and enjoy your life and children after this is all over.

Daisygirl

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#9880 - 12/30/05 02:57 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Daisygirl, great point. Let's all pray for an awesome year for starting over.

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#9881 - 12/31/05 01:11 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Thanks all. I am under so much stress I can hardly breathe. Every day I think it can't get any worse and yet it does!

I know God doesn't give us any more than we can handle, but I really am beginning to think he has me confused with someone else! [Roll Eyes]

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#9882 - 12/31/05 01:15 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Well it looks like you've got your sense of humor intact, so that's a good sign!
I know that feeling of feeling like you literally can't catch your breath because of stress. That's when you have to stop, close your eyes and then breathe slowly in through your nose, out through your mouth. It works. If you're a Christian, just say "Jesus" slowly and quietly, actually breathing His name. He will give you peace.

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#9883 - 01/02/06 09:59 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
yepthatsme2 Offline
Member

Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
Prayer always works for me...have used the following breathing exercise.

Sit down or lie down.
Inhale slowly and say to yourself I am...
Exhale slowly and say to yourself relaxed.

Slowly breathe in from the nose...inhale all the way to the lower stomach...release slowly through the mouth.

I'm praying for you.

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#9884 - 01/04/06 09:31 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Doctor Karen Offline
Member

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 99
Loc: San Francisco
Ditto...all of the above. Like many women divorcing abusive and very sick men, their capacity for manipulation (roses...threats...roses...threats) has to be seen to be believed. I had one too (the roses which he charged on MY credit card kept coming every month for a year after he was long gone...and usually were half dead by the time I came home from work and retrieved them from the front stoop!).

But you are on the right track and need to stay a steady course. He is ONLY thinking of himself...before, during and after the divorce. If he had any capacity at all to think about the welfare of another human being, he would not have those charges filed against him.

Use this forum, read Teresa's Hamilton's book (www.thepowerofaddictedlove.com), get counseling or go to Twelve Step meetings. But don't let down your guard or think for one second that a loving God is not holding you in His arms. We're all there for you.

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#9885 - 01/05/06 01:17 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Thanks all. Latest update. He called last Friday to tell me he had made an appointment for us to meet with a mediator on Tues. at 2:00. He didn't ask if I could get off, didn't check to see if it was convenient, just told me to come to his town (3 hour drive) and he would pay for gas. Didn't even give me directions!

I ignored the call, didn't respond, didn't show up. Today I have a text message that says, "willing to negotiate divorce anyway I am comfortable."

He is still trying to stay out of court and playing on my 'fairness' to meet him somewhere to discuss terms--which will only mean me not getting what is fair. Why do men think we are so stupid?

Dr. Karen, can you answer this, or can you direct me to someone who will know--he keeps saying he isn't gay or a pedophile, that he's a sex addict.

I keep saying: 1. You've been with men--that's gay. 2. You are going to jail because they found the biggest collection of child porn ever--that makes you a pedophile. 3. You never wanted to be with me so you might be a sex addict, but it's not for women.

Am I wrong? I feel like the whole 'sex addict' term is just a cover up word for reality--that being a gay pedophile.

Am I wrong? Am I being overly harsh? Can someone be a sex addict without wanting sex with his wife....?

Just trying to fill in the final blanks in my thinking/emotions, thought you might have some insight.

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#9886 - 01/05/06 01:31 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
I'm not sure, but someone can be addicted to alcohol and not like beer. Or addicted to heroin but not like coke.
Nevertheless, if this is what your husband is like, then you did not have a valid marriage in the first place. He is incapable of a covenant union. Stick to your guns, while praying for his soul.

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#9887 - 01/05/06 03:40 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
Starting over, this guy is telling you what he thinks you want to hear. I know it's hard to understand, but I've dated and married guys just like that and I don't even try to understand anymore.

Daisygirl

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#9888 - 01/05/06 06:28 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
My goodness YES, YES YES many sex addicts don't want to have sex with their wife especially if they prefer young boys like your husband seems to. I have spoken to many of these perverts and they married because they were expected to and because they fooled themselves into thinking sex with the wife would calm their true desires and for awhile that works but unfortunately for the poor unsuspecting woman they married, it never lasts. They might truly try to be 'normal' but eventully give in. This man is SICK and you need to distasnce yourself from him as soon as possible. Make him come to court and even if he doesn't show up, YOU be there and you'll win by default whatever you want. keep after that lawyer of yours with your demands so he can't say "well you never told me." Don't take anything for granted and be firm...good luck!

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#9889 - 01/05/06 06:56 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Startingover
I guess I have less faith in the court system than others. I don't want to worry you, but some of the things that you have described might not get to the judge. If your husband has not yet been convicted of a crime, that issue may not be admissible in the divorce. And if he has, it still may be inadmissible according to what state your divorce is in.

His perversions are obvious reasons in the mind of any normal person to award every penny the man ever had or ever will have to you. But, just as the court's stalling your divorce for a year from a man who is such an obvious jerk makes no sense, neither does many of the court's decisions.
I hope you are making sure your attorney has all the evidence he needs to win the case, that he has organized all the paperwork with all the i's dotted and the t's crossed and will go forward on the designated day. Try to insist that he gets your whole case heard and decided the that day if possible. And make sure he knows you are not interested in mediation. Seems like judges often wimp out to that instead of making decisions.
I hope you have a good trustworthy attorney (if there is such a thing.) They often stall and complicate things in order to inflate their fees. The longer the case goes on, the more money they make. And they can get you in such a mess, it's impossible to get out without paying them more.
I need prayer for being prejudiced, but being married to an attorney and hearing them talk made me so distrustful of that whole profession. I will pray for you to be filled with peace between now and then and for justice on the day you go court.

smile

[ January 04, 2006, 11:01 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

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#9890 - 01/12/06 07:38 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
foundhervoice-atlast Offline
Member

Registered: 07/08/05
Posts: 80
Loc: Colorado
Startingover,

Sorry i have been out of the loop and not in touch for a few weeks...my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer over Thanksgiving, and has had two strokes and a heart attack since Christmas.I've been back east with my kids trying to spend time with him and help out in general, and we are going back this weekend for more of the same. If i were any more tired i would need help breathing.

I too will be praying for you on the 6th. I agree with Dr. Karen that the level of manipulation and intimidation applied by some men is unbelievable but that it is often tantamount to posturing like a peacock, sometimes without any substance to back it up. Many of these men have no sense of decency (duh - we already knew that, or we wouldn't be in the position we are in...right?) but I have recently come to the conclusion that even more of them are so insecure with themselves that they are genuinely incapable of putting anyone's needs or situation above their own. Men like this need to win always. No matter what the consequence or level of destruction they impose on somebody else. A good friend of mine told me that ever since her divorce experience she believes that for some men parting with money for support of any kind is on a par with asking them to cut off their penis. It's all about power and their sense of masculinity, which based on what I've been reading about your husband, sounds like it's been a topic of confusion for him for some time. Be that as it may, I do agree with smilinize about getting your documents organized and being well prepared. It can't hurt, and it can only solidify your position in court.

On a personal added note about some men not being able to put anyone's needs ahead of their own: my husband is now fighting me on taking our children to see their dying grandfather (to whom they are very close) and has even expressed his insistence that they should not attend his funeral when the time comes. "Too expensive", he said. "Besides, they've already seen him one more time, and that should be enough closure for them." How do you argue with someone like that? The kids were justifiably horrified and finally angry enough with him to want to blast him for his insensitivity. Believe it or not, I was able somehow to step in and be the voice of reason (clarity in fatigue?). I told the children to calm down and try not to be offended by their dad's remarks because he is not saying this to them because he is mean or evil: it's just that he is no more able to empathize or feel any emotion than he is able to change the color of his eyes, and that is just plain sad. He just doesn't get it, and after this incident i finally realize that he never will. Neither, from the sound of things, will yours. He is too obsessed with lashing out at you for what sounds like what is a great deal of embarassment and confusion of his own, and you are simply a convenient person to take it out on. He is not a well person, and i almost feel sorry for him because he is about to lose someone he cannot even begin to appreciate.You need to do whatever is necessary to survive this divorce and move on, without being nasty and vindictive, which i believe would weaken your ability to think straight when you need to. You hang in there, girl, and know that you have the love and support of so many of us who will be thinking about you and sending the most positive of thoughts your way.

foundhervoice-atlast

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#9891 - 01/12/06 06:42 PM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Songbird Offline
Member

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Starting over: just want to let you know that I continue to pray for you and your situation. Be yourself. God will lead the way.

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#9892 - 01/13/06 12:28 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Foundhervoice - I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Please email me if you want. Mom also had lung cancer.

Startingover, are you feeling organized? It is so important that you have all your ducks in a row before the trial. You need to appear as a professional mom.

I once attended a divorce case for a friend. She was totally unprepared. She arrived with a box of papers that were so unorganized I couldn't believe my eyes. She had envelopes she had written messages on, old bills, calendars, all just thrown in a box. It was pitiful.

I know you won't do that, but I have to agree with smile that you must make an excellent impression.

I am praying that God gives you His peace and calm, a settled mind, and honest words to prove your case. You're gonna do well. I can feel it.

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#9893 - 01/13/06 01:45 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
starting over Offline
Member

Registered: 06/30/05
Posts: 383
Loc: Illinois
Organization is my middle name! My papers are organized in folders and in a briefcase which I carry in the truck of my car--so I don't get frazzled and run out the door without it!

My attorney keeps commenting on how organized I am. I HAVE to be, my mind does not function under pressure.

Thank you, please pray that I don't get upset in court. I cry easily or can get angry--either way my voice goes up 3 octaves and men don't listen to my voice when it goes up like that.... [Roll Eyes]

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#9894 - 01/13/06 02:34 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Foundhervoice, you must be so frazzled with all you and your dad are going through. I would like to include the two of you in my prayers. I only hope the children are allowed to do whatever is needed when the time comes. Only you know what that is depending on their ages....

[ January 12, 2006, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

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#9895 - 01/13/06 03:25 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
lionspaaw Offline
Member

Registered: 11/28/02
Posts: 887
Loc: SW Florida
Starting Over - I hear two words in all your postings that makes me feel that you're going to come out of this just fine

YOUR ATTORNEY

If your "husband" can rattle your cage and keep you away from legal representation he has a chance in court -- even if you can't bring the charges pending into your divorce case -- YOUR ATTORNEY vs him -- well -- I think you get the picture.

Don't worry about speaking in court -- that's what YOUR ATTORNEY is for. Keep your answers short and sweet -- YES and NO -- I'm sure YOUR ATTORNEY will go through it all with you before the court date. How about taking something small with you to squeeze real tight when you feel yourself getting upset -- something you can fit in your pocket -- no one else needs to know you have it and it can give you an edge

And in the meantime -- continue to "ignore his demands" -- that's not being mean -- that's protecting yourself.

Hey -- with YOUR ATTORNEY and all us boomer women on your side -- how can you POSSIBLY LOSE ?????

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#9896 - 01/13/06 03:58 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
SO,
If you find yourself getting upset try this: Hestitate a fraction of a sec before you answer and look at one of the attorneys and think, "hmm ... his tie is on crooked" or "hmm ... this chair is made of solid oak" or whatever.

Years ago, I found that if I withdrew my emotions from the situation that was upsetting me, even for a fraction of a second to focus on something insignificant, it gave me power. I could regroup instantly, and answer calmly. Sounds crazy, but it worked for me.

JJ

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#9897 - 01/13/06 04:04 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Great advice, both the item to squeeze and the mental withdrawl from the situation. I also use to make believe I was staring in a movie and was acting....
I'm ready for my closeup Mr.Demille.... [Cool]

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#9898 - 01/13/06 10:47 AM Re: so mad-I need prayer
Doctor Karen Offline
Member

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 99
Loc: San Francisco
Sexual addiction comes in many forms...all are destructive to a marital relationship or any partnership. Sexual addiction consumes the person the same way that alcohol and drugs do. Some sexual addicts are addicted to real life encounters, some only to online porn, some only to other visual forms of porn, and many to a combination of the above. And the object of the sexual obsessions can be opposite sex, same sex, children, even animals. Everyone is capable of having same sex fantasies even if they are heterosexual and not addicted...but they recognize them as fantasies and part of the arousal process. This is not the same as having a sexual PREFERENCE for children as pedophiles do or a sexual PREFERENCE for the same sex as gays and lesbians do. Most pedophiles are heterosexual, by the way. Your husband is not only a sexual addict but very confused as to his sexual identity and preferences. And, yes, marrying was a last ditch effort to cover up that confusion and appear "normal". Truly, it doesn't matter.

The addiction/preference/identity issue is HIS, not YOURS. And it is something you are chosing not to live with. But because every addict is in a life and death struggle to prove that the truth isn't so, he will be a difficult opponent in a court room. I hope you have a VERY GOOD attorney. Wishing you the best.

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