I've been trying to think back to when she started acting angry and I think it was during her first marriage and then a horribly ugly divorce (he was gay). Current husband treats her very well so maybe it's still a carry over from the first marriage that she never worked through.

She told me she had trouble making friends and asked me if she came across as cold and I said, yes. But then, we were raised by the original ice queen so we both had a lot to overcome. One thing I made a promise to myself about was to be completely different than our parents and I try to practice that every day of my life.

Dianne,
Possibly the fact that you've been able to work through the past and she sees this, is bothering her as well and comes out in the form of jealousy, as someone suggested. Her past, along with the bad marriage you eluded to, could be smothering her happiness.

You seem fit, normal, happy, and sound to me. If she isn't, it could be very intimidating (is that the right word?) to her and she could feel even more insecure in your "happy" presence. Does that make sense?

Sometimes secure people can make others feel even more insecure by their mere presence. I have four sisters and sibling rivalry was alive and well when we were growing up. I was also the middle child...Somehow over the years, we've managed to find the middle of the road, or the good in each other. When we've argued, I find myself reaching for that "good" and reminding myself what a good person they really are, and so it softens the hurt. You might try this...

Dianne, I was thinking about this. If you said nothing about her verbally abusive behavior, then you would be an enabler. And that would go against the very mission that you are on to promote peace in relationships. You did the right thing by telling her what you thought. It does not sound as if she has had the insight you had to learn about family relationships and subsequent patterns. JJ, I did not know you had 4 sisters! I'm glad to hear you all found the good in each other.

I will email her after I return from AZ and see if I get a response. I love her so much! The ball will be in her court.

Lynnie, yep, sure do. But I'm the cute one.

Dianne, you can love someone and not like them at the moment. It happens all the time. Of course you love her. I'm sure time will heal the riff, IF one truly exists. Hang in there gal!