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#9447 - 10/28/04 04:53 AM What???
chatty lady Offline

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Went ino this TOPIC and low and behold nothing was here so I'll ask a question...Is there anyone in here that hasn't been divorced, is getting divorced or would like to be divorced? Strange word, divorced wonder where and how it originated.? [Confused]

#9448 - 10/28/04 06:24 AM Re: What???
Songbird Offline

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Hi Chatty:
I've been married for almost 21 yrs, now (only a month away from our 21st anniversary [Wink] ). Although it isn't always easy, I believe LOVE IS A DECISION you make every single day of your life; a decision to love your partner and be faithful [Cool] through it all. Who said marriage was a piece of cake, anyway? [Confused]

I believe I have become a better person by learning to love and understand him and [Razz] pray that our love keeps growing stronger each new day!

#9449 - 10/28/04 06:03 PM Re: What???
TVC15 Offline

Registered: 09/03/04
Posts: 2538
Loc: North Carolina
I totally agree with songbird. I've been married 27 years, and we've definitely had our ups and downs. But throughout have stayed the course. My parents were divorced when I was 10 and I know how devastating it can be to the children (me) Believe it or not, there are still times in my life where it becomes uncomfortable.
I totally realize that for some, divorce is definitely the way to go as staying together can sometimes be devastating as well.
I guess I was just lucky to find someone that I could grow up with instead of growing apart from. (We got married very young and the odds were against us, as well as some of the relatives [Smile]

#9450 - 10/28/04 06:10 PM Re: What???
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Chatty, Ross and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this summer. By the grace of God we are good for one another. We have grown together instead of apart because we take daily interest in each other's lives. I take pleasure in making him happy and he does the same for me. We're very blessed, but I have to say that it's something we always work on. We communicate all the time and we are one another's best friends. This may sound odd, but I often feel guilty(I was raised Catholic) [Big Grin] because we have each other and are happily married. I wish so badly that some of my friends and family had the same. In many cases the woman is willing to work at a marriage, but the man isn't. [Frown] That breaks my heart! Do they think happiness isn't worth the work?

#9451 - 10/28/04 06:35 PM Re: What???
Kathryn Offline

Registered: 11/20/02
Posts: 317
Loc: Towson
On the lighter side....the word divorced....
comes from the fact that originally woman were "forced" into slave like relationships called marriage. Thus, in modern! Just a guess! Hardy Har!

I was married once and divorced...knew walking down the aisle I was making a mistake and did it anyway. Remarried and have been w/ my husband for 17 years. The last couple have been difficult beyond belief, but I believe he is the person for me and I was willing to forgive a great deal and keep trying. But if there is one service I could do for mankind it would be to give pre marital counseling to all of these young women who think that the wedding is the marriage.
They plan these elaborate expensive extravaganzas and are separated 6 months later. A wedding does not a marriage make. If they spent half the effort on the marriage that they did planning the wedding, the marriages would probably be okay.

#9452 - 10/28/04 10:47 PM Re: What???
Songbird Offline

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Kathryn: I agree people should spend more time getting to know each other and their values, etc., instead of hurrying into marriage.

I've known some who hurried into marriage with DIVORCE as the "quick solution" if things didn't work out as to their expectations. I believe that attitude is plain selfish and a lack of maturity.

Although no marriage is exempt of problems, many can be avoided if we took the time to get to know each other before the I DO'S.

#9453 - 10/28/04 11:34 PM Re: What???
smilinize Offline

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Okay, I admit it. I'm the one everyone it talking about--the bad example.
I've been divorced - three times. Hey , it happens. And if nothing else, I'm no quitter.

After the third divorce, I decided never to marry again. Actually I had a blast as a single person. I dated a lot, made a lot of friends, had several proposals, and was pretty happy.
Then I met Dan who had decided never again to remarry also. We fell in love, went off the deep end, and got married -- only a couple of weeks after we met. No planning. No big wedding. Nobody there but us--and God.

Dan has also been married before so so we knew the risk and we know another divorce is always a possibility, but we got married anyway.
So far, it's been a blast. We've been married a little more than a year and we've spent that time getting to know each other. We are falling more in love every day. We both know for sure that we can survive single but we want to be togehter and we're planning on a bright tomorrow.
It's been a blessing. I would recommend it.

Back to divorce, I believe it to be very much like major surgery. It can be elective or even life saving. Either way, you may awaken with part of yourself gone. And you may rid yourself of a diseased or ugly part. But the surgery itself can be fatal.
If you survive the surgery, you will have endured a terribly painful experience with a prolonged recovery time.
I guess like everything else, you just have to weigh the options and make the best decision possible with the information you have and leave the rest up to God.
In many cases, divorce is a gift from God. So is marriage.

[ October 28, 2004, 11:50 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

#9454 - 10/29/04 05:19 AM Re: What???
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
thank God I had surgery and removed the wort...

What? [Roll Eyes]

#9455 - 10/29/04 04:44 PM Re: What???
Dotsie Offline

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
I had a smile on my face entering this topic with Jawjaw's name next to it.

She didn't let me down. I laughed again while sitting in front of the screen. Thanks Queenie!

Kath, I agree about the pre-marital counseling. Great point. We need to make these kids aware of what they're getting into. Especially before they have kids!

Smile, we'd never talk about you! Never! [Wink] I'm so glad you've found such happiness in this marriage. It helps when you have God right smack in the middle. [Wink]

#9456 - 10/29/04 06:36 PM Re: What???
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Well...okay...I guess I can open up here better than anywhere.

Husband # 1 was a casualty of Viet Nam.

Husband # 2 Couldn't keep his pants zipped and just cheated all the time. Married to him for 13 very long years.

Husband # 3 was the abuser and it only lasted one year. Tried to have it annulled but my atty. wouldn't let me.

Husband # 4 is my current husband and will be my last husband. Have been married 10 years and although he showed some signs of getting really strange on me, he's straightened out and is becoming the man I fell in love with, only better.

You know, it can be embarrassing to say, "Hey, I'm on my fourth husband!" but I know women my age who have never been married and are very much ashamed to tell anyone. I guess we can't win, can we?

So, hope you continue to love me although I'm a used up, over-married old hag. It works for me. If something happened to my husband, I'd NEVER, EVER, EVER get married again!

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