Site Links










Top Posters
Dotsie 23647
chatty lady 20267
jawjaw 12025
jabber 10031
Dianne 6123
Latest Photos
car
Useable gifts!
Winter wonderland/fantasy for real
The Soap lady meets the Senator
baby chicks
Angel
Quilted Christmas Stocking
Latest Quilt
Shelter from the storm
A new life
Who's Online
0 Registered (), 48 Guests and 1 Spider online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
3237 Members
63 Forums
16330 Topics
210699 Posts

Max Online: 189 @ 09/21/13 03:01 PM
Page 2 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#9457 - 10/29/04 08:14 PM Re: What???
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Diane...what's NOT to love? You and SMILES are adored by everyone in here...you're my buds!

[Big Grin] [Big Grin] [Cool]

JJ

Top
#9458 - 10/30/04 04:36 AM Re: What???
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Hey Dianne, I say, what we lost in quality, we made up for in quantity. Besides you oughtta' get a few to practice on--Okay, maybe we got more than a few, but even four is less than a herd. We're still practicing.
smile

Top
#9459 - 10/30/04 04:12 PM Re: What???
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Dianne, so sorry about husband #1. How long had you been married? Do you mind telling us about it? It might make a good topic in the Loss forum. There are probably other Viet Nam stories that could be added.

Have you ever written about it? It would make a great Boomer Women Speak story. I received one from a woman whose boyfriend died in Viet Nam, but it was really weird. Too weird to consider. Just a thought.

Top
#9460 - 10/30/04 08:01 PM Re: What???
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I guess I never talk about husband # 1 because when I say he was a casualty of Nam, I mean a mental casualty. It ruined him. Lost his mind. Had PTSD something awful. Got crazy. Started drinking. Imagined things. Looney tunes. Is still looney tunes. Shot bullets into the ceiling of our house. Scared the kids to death. So, that's what I mean when I say casualty. In a way, I think what happened to him is worse than death. He's ruined for life but I couldn't let him ruin me or our kids. He never tried to get better or work through it. He's remarried and she kicked him out of the house recently after years of his craziness. Anyway, enough about him. Very depressing. [Frown]

Top
#9461 - 11/01/04 05:06 PM Re: What???
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Oh Dianne, I'm sorry I asked. Didn't mean to make you go through all that explanation. I'm so concerned for our troops who are fighting this war. I pray they get the support when they return home. [Wink]

Top
#9462 - 11/01/04 09:10 PM Re: What???
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
Viet Nam is such a part of the coming of age experience for boomers. Seems like there would be more posts about it.

I have little to add about that time. I was married young and that along with children born to my husband helped him escape the draft. No one I knew well was in the war.

Later I was involved with a man who was a Viet Nam veteran and was quite traumatized. He died recently. I am unsure how much his Viet Nam experience contributed to the condition from which he died. He had nightmares and spoke of throwing injured soldiers from a helicopter which bothered him a lot.

I wonder if other boomer mates had Nam experiences and how they responded
smile

Top
#9463 - 11/02/04 04:59 AM Re: What???
Maggie Offline
Member

Registered: 02/19/03
Posts: 765
Loc: Oregon
We've been married for thirty years. Seems like yesterday. Its had its ups and downs but we work it out by talking.
Have had many friends who served in Viet Nam.
In fact we lost classmates over there pretty sad.
My brother in law served and he too was never quite right after being there. He died of a heart attack about three years ago.
Maggie

Top
#9464 - 11/02/04 09:58 PM Re: What???
Claire Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 98
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
Howdy sisters,

Most of you seem to have married quite young. I guess I never met anyone I wanted to marry before age 30 though I did have plenty of boyfriends over the years. There was one I would have married when I was 24 or so but he didn't want to marry me!

I met my husband when I was 28 and even then I was happy enough plodding along until he pushed for marriage. I met him when I was working in UK and I guess the fact that he was Irish and eventually wanted to go back just like I did, was some of the attraction! Also, I was pretty mad and unfocused and he was (still is) singleminded, serious and knows what he wants! He said he knew he wanted to marry me from the time we met (Mad man!).

Eventually at 34, I gave in. We returned to Ireland and it was great being back in the insanity of my family! My Dad was so proud to walk me, his only daughter, up the aisle and I am sure glad he got the opportunity. He was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after.

I have been married 4 years now and although I love my hubby, what a struggle that has been! I thought at one point that I wanted a divorce and we were only married 2 years then!!! Also It is EXTREMELY hard to get a divorce in Ireland, being such a catholic country. Divorce has only been introduced in the last few years!

I had spend the first two years of my marriage literally crying and walking on eggshells.

We were going along fine for years, until we tied the knot and then the s-it hit the fan!! I don't think that I changed but I think that he did.

It was like I became one of his possessions or something and he seemed to be jealous of everything, including my mother, the dog, my friends!! He also expected me to do all the housework even though I have a full time day job and like to write and walk dogs in the evenings! We were always rowing about my alleged terrible housekeeping skills. He kept bringing up that as he earned 4 times as much as me and more, it was purely my duty to do ALL housework, no matter what.

Also, as we have not become pregnant, he blamed me a lot. In the end, we had to go for marriage counselling because we were both ready to either kill each other or walk away!! Thankfully we got through it all after 9 months of counselling (do you spell that word differently over there?) and we have emerged stronger for it. We seem to be making a go of things now, though we do still have our ups and downs!!! The counsellor also pointed out that it doesn't matter if he earned a million more than me or me than him, we should be sharing household duties as intimacy begins in the kitchen!!! Well, it does NOW anyway! :-)

I think marriage has to be worked at and a lot of it has to do with good communication. I would certainly recommend marriage counselling to any couples that are in trouble! If there is anything to be saved, this will help and if there isn't the counsellor can give advice on seperation and divorce etc.

'PĆ³sta' Gaelic for 'Married'

Bye for now

Clairey xx

Top
#9465 - 11/03/04 06:29 PM Re: What???
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Claire, what a wise woman you are to get help. You hit the nail on the head about communicating, housework, and getting help for our marriages.

I didn't realize divorce was something relatively new in Ireland. That's where this country was when boomers were growing up. I hope your country doesn't follow in our footsteps.

Keep working at that marriage and remember to stand up for your needs within your home.

My husband and I went through 4 years of infertility. We now have a 19 year old son and 17 year old daughter (both adopted from Korea as infants)...and a 16 year old son that I gave birth to shortly after our daughter arrived from Korea. [Big Grin] [Eek!] [Big Grin]

Top
#9466 - 11/03/04 10:24 PM Re: What???
Claire Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/04
Posts: 98
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
Dotsie, It's only since 1997 that divorce has been lawful in Ireland and even then, it's a difficult process, in the technical sense. I don't know all the ins and outs and I hope I won't have to! Sometimes Ireland seems so backward compared to US but then it is a much, much smaller country.We are now one of the richest small European Countries with the Celtic Tiger and all that stuff though. Dotsie, I think we probably will follow the way of the US where divorce and other matters are concerned. The UK always follow first and then it filters through to Ireland eventually.
Dotsie, that's lovely about your kids. We haven't even thought of adoption or anything. WE are leaving it to nature at the moment and hoping for the best. I guess at 38 though, I don't have loads more time. In saying that, my cousin had her first baby at 40 and her second at 43. I don't know.
Do you think that people in US generally marry quite young - for the first time anyway?

Clairey

Top
Page 2 of 5 < 1 2 3 4 5 >



NABBW.com | Forum Testimonials | Newsletter Sign Up | View Our Newsletter | Advertise With Us
About the Founder | Media Room | Contact BWS
Resources for Women | Boomer Books | Recent Reads | Boomer Links | Our Voices | Home

Boomer Women Speak
9672 W US Highway 20, Galena, IL 61036 • info@boomerwomenspeak.com • 1-877-BOOMERZ

Boomer Women Speak cannot be held accountable for any personal relationships or meetings face-to-face that develop because of interaction with the forums. In addition, we cannot be held accountable for any information posted in Boomer Women Speak forums.

Boomer Women Speak does not represent or endorse the reliability of any information or offers in connection with advertisements,
articles or other information displayed on our site. Please do your own due diligence when viewing our information.

Privacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer

Copyright 2002-2019 • Boomer Women SpeakBoomerCo Inc. • All rights reserved