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#94002 - 10/31/06 01:54 PM reasons why trick or treating is better then sex
Cookie Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 753
Loc: USA
Hope this doesn't offend anyone.



TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7) You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6) It's O.K. when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.

5) Forty years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.

4) If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3) It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2) Less guilt the morning after.

And, the number one reason why trick or treating is better than sex:

1) YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE DARN NEIGHBORHOOD!!!!

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#94003 - 10/31/06 02:22 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Cookie]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
I enjoyed this...thanks for the morning chuckle, Cookie!
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#94004 - 10/31/06 03:01 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Eagle Heart]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Not offended at all, thanks for the funny!
K

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#94005 - 10/31/06 04:04 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Didn't want to cover this new thread so will just add this to the existing topic.

Books that never got published:

You Are Different and That's Bad



The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Spinach



Dad's New Wife Robert



Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share



Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book



The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking



Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her



Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence



The Little Sissy Who Snitched



Some Kittens Can Fly



That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption



The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator



Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia



The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy



Strangers Have the Best Candy



Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way



Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will



Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games



Your Nightmares Are Real



Where Would You Like to Be Buried?



Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School



Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?



Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things



Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
_________________________
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice.
www.eadv.net



Boomer Queen of Shoes

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#94006 - 10/31/06 08:24 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Dianne]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
hA HA ! These are a riout Cookie and Dianne.
Hubby just came up and asked me what's so funny...

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#94007 - 10/31/06 09:11 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Edelweiss]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Great fun girls and now may I add my two cents...? I also don't want to cover these up.

Heavenly Cat

Ond day a barnyard cat passed away in his sleep. He went up to heaven where he was met at the pearly gates by God himself. God said, "Cat you have led a good cat life and now I want to offer you a reward. Is there anything you want from me?" The cat thought for a minute, looked up into Gods eyes and said.
"Lord, all my life in the barnyard I have had to sleep on hard wooden floors. I have dreamt of sleeping on a big fluffy pillow." The Lord smiled down on the cat and said.
"Say no more," and a pillow appeared under the cat.
Several days later six little mice passed away and all got to the pearly gates at the same time. God appeared and said, "Mice you have led good little mice lives and I want to reward you, what would you like to make your stay here enjoyable?" All excited, their little heads together they all decided and one mouse squeaked.
"We have spent our whole lives running from dogs, cats, large birds and people with brooms, we are tired and we would each like a pair of tiny roller skates." God nodded his approval and 'poof' the skates appeared on their little feet and they gleefully skated away....
Some time later God was walking along and spotted the cat snoozing on his fluffy pillow, and God asked,
"Cat how are you doing, are you content on your pillow?" The cats stretched, yawned and said,
"Yes, and thank you Lord, I am very comfortable on this pillow and those 'meals on wheels' you keep sending me are simply delicious."


Edited by chatty lady (10/31/06 09:49 PM)
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#94008 - 10/31/06 09:57 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: chatty lady]
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Too cute! I don't know if I mentioned it but the young gal who cleans our flat once a week has six mice as pets. She had all of them nuetered! I didn't even know you could do that!
_________________________
If it doesn't feel good, don't do it twice.
www.eadv.net



Boomer Queen of Shoes

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#94009 - 10/31/06 11:22 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Dianne]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Eeew, now thats a new one even on me. Neutered mice!
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#94010 - 10/31/06 11:27 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Dianne]
Cookie Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 753
Loc: USA
LOL! Chatty, loved that Heavenly Cat...so cute!
That is so funny Dianne......neutered mice! Who knew!!

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#94011 - 11/06/06 08:24 PM Re: reasons why trick or treating is better then sex [Re: Cookie]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Talking about animals...

Bear without Ears
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.

Lion playing poker
Why did the Lion lose at Poker?
Because he was playing with a Cheetah.

Duck popster
How do you make a Duck into a popstar?
Put it into the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

Two goats at a movie studio
Two goats are out behind a movie studio eating old movie film. One goat says to the other, "Pretty good, huh?" The second goat says, "Yeah... but it's not as good as the book."

Mice balls
Why do Mice have small balls?
Because not many of them can dance.

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