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#9271 - 03/03/03 02:14 PM divorced...finally!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
A woman I know was telling me that her divorce was final. One of the most disappointing things that came out of her divorce was the fact that justice doesn't always prevail.

She feels as though she has let her children down because she believes she has taught them that justice will prevail in their lives, but now it hasn't for her. Now she is beating herself up for yet another thing. Why do we women do this? [Confused]

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#9272 - 03/03/03 06:30 PM Re: divorced...finally!
lionspaaw Offline
Member

Registered: 11/28/02
Posts: 887
Loc: SW Florida
It would be nice if all things in this world were perfect -- but hey -- let's face it

sometimes the bad guy wins !

It's as simple as that

The thing I try to do when that happens is to learn from it -- don't dwell on the negative of it -- that's pretty obvious -- but what was life trying to teach me through this situation -- what lesson am I supposed to pass on

If I believed that this time here on earth was IT -- then I guess I wouldn't care -- but I choose to believe that everything I learn now is preparing me for so much more -- preparing me for the wonders of my next life -- or afterlife. I don't think I'm knowledgeable enough to stand in front of my maker and say let me in -- not quite yet -- I think I have a few more lessons to learn first [Smile]

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#9273 - 01/24/05 10:31 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Debi Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 152
Loc: Kansas City Kansas
Dotsi and loinspaw I can seriously sempathize the feeling guilty where kids are comcerned:
I remember saying something about an ex and now being with the right man. I am so far from perfect. One of my priorities this year is to find an attorney that will take a case .I live in kansas and no attorney here will take my case becausse they dont know colorado law , and a colorado attorney wont take it because I dont live there . Although it would be easier if there were no kids . But when legal aide in both states wont / cant help , where does one go??

If you have any suggestions ,. pleaseee lety me know.. Would like to have my name and freedom back

Debi

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#9274 - 01/25/05 08:20 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Debi, I'm confused. Is this a divorce case? Tell us a little more if you don't mind.

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#9275 - 01/25/05 03:56 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Debi Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 152
Loc: Kansas City Kansas
Ok ladies ,
I had been married unhappily in an abuse marriage for about 14 yrs, Last year , the day before thanksgiving to be exact he bodily tossed me out of the house. Since then, I have not only moved to Kansas from Coloado, but now can't find an attorney who will take the case. The ones here in Kansas don't know Colorado law , and colorado wont do it because i dont live there. and this was from legal aide , the attornies wont touch it because of lack of money.

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#9276 - 01/25/05 04:52 AM Re: divorced...finally!
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Debi, was your name on the house and most of all haven't you ever heard of spousal abuse, he can't legally kick you out or keep you out without going to court. Now this is especially true if there are recorded cases of abuse on file. Do you have children and if so are they with you or what? I lived in Colorado and my sister went through a messy divorce there from an abusive jackass. You should check out Dianne's site on Domestic Violence it's filled with women suffering similarily and beating the odds and they come from all over the country.

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#9277 - 01/25/05 05:08 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Debi Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 152
Loc: Kansas City Kansas
thanks Chatty,
It was a mixed blessing , because i wanted out , but didnt know how to get out. And the police were called thats the only way i was able to get my things out. Nothing was in my name but the bank bill that i didnt contribute to SCREWING UP. I've had a restraining order temporary. As for kids , they are with him and prob hate me , the last time I spoke to my daughter she hung up on me. I will look at the site . AS for a horrable divorce , it will be t hat , because he will bring in the other times i left , and always coming back . This is actually i had the strength to stay gone this long and work on starting my life over safe and happy , I have a safe home , a writing career in the works , my application on monster and ssi on appeal. My story is in the first draft of a novel called a soul exposed waiting to edit and see what the crit group thinks , at some point.

Debi

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#9278 - 01/25/05 06:09 AM Re: divorced...finally!
smilinize Offline
Member

Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
I am unsure of Colorado law, but in most states, you can file for divorce from an estranged husband in another state if you are a legal resident of the new state. Sometimes you have to live there and pay taxes for six months or more to be a leagal resident.

You can probably look in the paper and find a "do it yourself divorce kit." You will have to fill it out meticulously. But if you follow directions explicitly, you can file your own divorce in the new state and he will have to come there to contest it if you have filed in the new state first.
May God bless you.
smile

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#9279 - 01/25/05 06:55 AM Re: divorced...finally!
Debi Offline
Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 152
Loc: Kansas City Kansas
thats a good idea, and I will look into that I'm just afraid I will mess up somehow , and 2nd when I file, and he contests he will know where I am , and I feel fear walking down the street again.

Thank you for your blessings.

Debi

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#9280 - 01/25/05 07:50 PM Re: divorced...finally!
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Deb, did you check out Dianne's site? ALso, Lynn Tolson is another woman you should catch up with. She's i nthe forums too. Her screen name is LYnn with a few numbers after it. [Eek!]

I'm adding you to my pryaer list. I wnat you to be safe. Please continue to be an advocate for yourself. If you've been in a verbally abusive marriage try to block out all the mean, negative comments. Are you in a church? Do you have someone to talk to that's a good ear?

Blessings and strength! [Wink]

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