Lionspaw, your post was so heart wrenchingly honest. Just want to say how I feel with you.

Actually, I did the same thing to my Mom, by moving to Germany. When I think back, I'm so grateful to her that she made it so easy for me, without laying any guilt trip on me. I guess that's one last big present, but valuable present, a parent can give their child when they leave and live their independent lives. Easier said then done, I know, and I have yet to follow my own advice when my son comes to say good-bye.
My Mom took a real-estate course when I left. I guess that was to fill the gap as well. Hopefully you have the opportunity to stay busy and distract yourself.
Lionspaw, I wish you from the bottom of my heart, lots of new found energy and the opportunity to fill that gap with wonderful new discoveries.

Hannelore - THANK YOU -- I do keep myself very busy and my hubby and I have always had that "you and me against the world" attitude - so we are adjusting better than I thought we would

I was thinking the same thing when Travis told me they were leaving -- that this must have been how MY mom felt when I left home -- life truly does go full circle doesnt it

The first thing I told the kids when they said they were moving was I wouldn't do/say anything to hold them back - they had to live THEIR life now and besides - they were only moving 10 hours away -- I was just VERY grateful it wasn't CALIFORNIA

I hadn't realized how much I had turned to the kids and my grandbeauty after losing Robert -- I had been very careful not to "transfer" feelings and put any pressure on Travis to "take up the slack" regarding my emotions but I had allowed myself to "use them" when I was feeling down - one minute after walking into their house and seeing my grandbeauty's smile - all was well with the world

now enough about me

I loved your butterfly story. I wonder why so many of us see them after a loved one has passed. My aunt told me that if she could, she would come back and visit my sister and I in the form of a butterfly. We both had lingering butterflies on the same day!

All of my kids live far away and it's sad at times. We stay in touch by phone but it isn't the same. I really miss them. My arms start aching to hold them.

Blue, your son soundds delightful. I especially like the way he pulled you back to hug you some more. You need to carry that thought with you. It says so much!

Lion, what a sweet DIL. TEEHEE! And I already know what a gem Travis his.

This thread is a tough one for me. In a couple weeks I'll be hugging my youngest and leaving him in Florida at age 18...and it's so far from home.

Dotsie - I know I should KNOW this - but where in Florida ?
Close enough for me to knock on his door with a poloraid camera and say "YOUR MOM SENT ME" tee hee

Wouldn't that be nice? No, he's more central FL. Darn!

Hey, don't tell HIM where Lionspaaw lives. Let HIM think it's near him. hahaha...

JJ

Just tell him, Mom has eyes everywhere with this forum and all of us women spread about the land...

You know I didn't have a hard time when we moved my son away for college. I worked very hard not be positive and not clingy with him. I packed up some of my dishes and towels, etc so he would have plenty, I emptied my pantry and freezer so he would go hungry while he got situated.

But I admit that with each passing month it grows harder. I don't know if its because I was dealing with all the other issues of divorce etc when my son moved and so I am just now dealing with the 'empty nest'. But it just keeps getting harder.

He doesn't call just to talk anymore. I may call and leave several messages before he calls me back. Where once he would share what was going on in his life he shares less and less. I feel like each conversation is like pulling teeth and I get off the phone feeling very empty and frustrated. Our relationship should be blossoming on a whole new level yet I fear it's actually dying a slow and painful death. I try to keep my calls upbeat and light and I haven't asked/manipulated him with come home and fix this, etc. And I've noticed when he comes to see me, he always has someone on tow--almost like he needs a buffer--am I crazy?

Am I wrong, is this how anyone else feels? My secret fear is that my ex-husband so damaged us through the years that I will also loose my only child because of him.

Please insight anyone.....

starting over, it could just be that your son needs some mental and emotional space to deal with the break up. The "buffer" could be there because your son is afraid to become emotional in front of you..the buffer would keep things more casual, less intense. Have the two of you had a good, long talk about the divorce and how you each feel about it? Maybe he's in love with someone and is fighting it because he sees the hurt that come from it. I've never had kids go off to college but the other women could probably tell you that the kids are torn between the excitement of becoming independent and the fear of becoming independent.
I don't think you will lose your son. He may just pull away for awhile. Let him know that you are always there for him, when he's ready to "come back".
Give him a hug and here's one for you (((HUG)))