Hi Ladies,

I really need prayer for my dad. He has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Tomorrow they are going to do a biopsy to determine what stage it's in. They suspect stage 3 and that is not good. My mom really is going to need strength and I am going to need it as well in order to help her take care of him while he is being treated.

Thanks and I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Oh my Cathi how awful for you all. If will be my honor to add you all to my prayer list and the prayer circle of my Church.

Cathi, I am holding your Dad and family in prayer. We love you too.
luv
chick

Cathi, we're going through much the same thing with my brother. I'm scared, but finding Presence and Consolation through prayer - I will hold your Dad and family alongside my brother in my heart-prayers.

Hi, Cathi: I join everyone in prayer for your Dad and for the rest of the family.

Cathi, I lost my mom to lung cancer last year. I understand your feelings completely. I will be praying for you. I am here if you ever need to vent/talk/cry....

Cathi, hold fast with your faith and know prayers are going up with one voice from this site. I've also added your Dad to my prayer list I share with others. God will never leave your side...Keep us informed as you can.

Much love, JJ

I will also pray for your dear father, Cathi.
((HUGS))

If ever I need a reminder of having friends, I just need to come here. Thanks so much.

Well, he had surgery this morning, and I am getting anxious because no one has called to let me know how he is doing. This is the biopsy that is going to let us know the stage the cancer is in. I know we will not know right away, but I'd like to know how he did during the surgery. It is 2PM and he was scheduled at about 8AM.

Cheers,
Cathi

I've got you and your Dad in my prayers today Cathi....I'm so sorry you all have to go through this...Keep the Faith...

Thanks Starting Over and I am so sorry about your mom.

Eagle, so sorry to hear about your brother.

Thanks all for reminding me that God will never leave or forsake us.

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi all,

Well, it is not good news. I heard it straight from my dad. I kept waiting for that phone call from my brother to find out how the surgery went. Well he finally called and told me that someone wants to talk to me, and it was my dad. Wow, he sounded great for just having an incision in his throat.

But as I said, the news is not good. It is stage 3B, and he going to need radiation and chemo. The hardest part now is not being there. I am worried about my mom right now.

Thanks all for your support. I always say, "as long as you are breathing, there is hope". I believe in miracles and it is going to take one to get through this.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi, Cathi: The prayers for you and your family are constant, as it is for Eagle Heart and her family. I join everyone in prayer for a miracle and nothing is impossible with God. I pray too for the virtue of patience in time of illness, spiritual strength and for the health carers who will be at the forefront of your Dad's and Eagle's brother's treatment.

Cathi, I'm still praying for you and your Dad (and family); this is a tough road, isn't it! Waiting is excruciating. But I have seen miracles before and fully expect to see more. I had a friend who was on death's doorstep from lung cancer...we had prayer circles in every corner of the world praying for her. She was given a few days to live - but one morning, she woke up and wanted breakfast. The doctors were astounded, and after hours of investigation could only claim it to be a miracle, they had no other explanation. She lived for many more years!

So yes, there IS hope. And yes, there IS a God who loves us so much more than we imagine. We don't always know what HIS version of the miracle will be, it's not always what we expect it to be, but I've learned to trust that He does know best.

Keeping you in my heart, prayers and thoughts throughout the coming journey...

PS to Lola - thank you!!!

Cathi,
We will pray without ceasing. Of this you can be sure. I'm sending love and prayers up for you and your Dad, as well as the rest of your family.

JJ

Cathi, maybe a pastor or priest could visit your dad at the hospital...they can be very comforting to have around when you get hit with news like this. They can reassure him that whatever he's feeling is normal and to pray with him for strength and hope.
((HUGS))

Thanks Ladies, I feel the presence of God for sure.

I am going to need it because there has been another bomb. Richard, my husband, called me at work and told me that his cardiologist told him he is going to need open heart surgery. He has a leakage in the mitral valve and it has always been mild, now it has gotten worse. I feel so bad for him because he was starting to feel better. A week from today, he is going to go in for catheterization, and depending on how bad it is, will determine when they will be able to operate.

In the meantime, on Tuesday, my dad sees an oncologist for consultation. Hopefully, then we will have a schedule for him. There is so much that I need to take care and I am just waiting and waiting. I hope I don't sound selfish here.

Thanks again, this means alot to me.

Cheers and Love,
Cathi

Oh Cathi...what burdens! Selfish is not a word I would use to describe you. Let's just leave that word out. Hopeful, prayful, and caring are ones let's put in it's place.

I know it may seem that God is giving you more than you can bear but this is the time we lean on God the most, and our friends. He will welcome you with open arms.

Please tell Richard we are praying for him as well as your Daddy. He has been added to my list and I know others will do the same.

Love JJ

Dear Cathi

Selfish? Not at all! We all experience the need to talk when we are overburdened with worries and need to express ourselves in time of sorrow and joy. I am humbled to be asked to pray for you and your family because in so doing you induce grace for us all. Such is the mystery of God's graces which transcends multiple folds. God bless you and your dear ones.

Cathi, you are not being selfish at all and it is a privilege for us to stand in agreement with you - that is how God wants it.
((HUGS))

Hi all,

I am trying really hard not to disappear again. Well, Richard had his catheterization yesterday and now they can say, for sure, that his leakage is mild and he does not need open heart surgery. I am so relieved.

My dad had his first Chemotherapy today and it pains me not to be there. He called me afterwards and told me that he was feeling fine and he explained to me the procudure. He was there for 8 hours, poor guy. I don't know if I told you what they finally said. He now has been told that his cancer is stage 4. He is going to have chemotherapy once every 3 weeks.

I have an aunt who is an anethestist(SP) nurse at Duke University and she finally talked my dad into getting another opinion at Duke. He has an appointment on Aug 17. He has been going to Walter Reed.

In the meantime, and because of my bi-polar, I have been advised by my councelor to apply for disability. I am seeking a second opinion tomorrow. You see, at my work place, they will not give me a leave of absence because, they view this as "going to lend support". Well, I view this as "I don't want to be robbed of any time I have left with my dad". In the meantime, my dad is like don't do anything that will jeopardize your job. I feel so bad because my mom doesn't drive and my brother has been doing all the work. Eventually, he is going to need some relief.

Anyway, just thought I would give you an update and let you know that I feel your prayers. I am not sure if I am going to be able to post much for awhile, but I will try to. I know emphatically, that it has cheered me up to read the posts.

Love and Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi, thanks for the update. I've been keeping you, your Dad and husband in my prayers every day (I especially thought of you while walking on the beautiful boardwalk along the St Lawrence River in Sept-Iles, Quebec at sunset). Your Dad's got a long journey ahead of him - as do you. I will continue to pray for strength, courage, time and healing for your Dad, husband - and you!

If I could be bold enough to speak my opinion, I'd agree with your counsellor - I wish with all my heart that I had taken time off from my job to "be there" for my Mom when she was battling cancer. You can always find another job, but you can never regain that lost time with your Dad...if your heart is leading you to be there for him (and your husband), then DO IT, and relish that time with your family...I can pretty much guarantee that you will NOT REGRET it - but if you don't take that leave of absence, you may well end up like me, regretting with great sadness not taking that precious time.

Hi, Cathi and Eagle: We continue to pray for your dear ones. I have only just heard news myself that my youngest sister's husband is suffering from pancreatic cancer and there is'nt anything more they can do for him medically. He is now in palliative care. Please include him in your prayers as well.

Is it not possible for work to grant an emergency/sympathy leave, Cathi? Do you have a contract of employment which may have provisions covering this? Also, if the situation is such that it is causing strain on your health, might it work to have a Dr's certificate and apply for sick leave? I pray that God helps in such a way where you can be able to attend to your Dad's need without compromise to your job in the process.

Hi Cathi: I'm sorry your family is going through this. I'll be prying for your dad. Remember God is by your side. His presence brings peace and comfort.

Eagle, I'm also praying for your family. May each hurting heart find rest and strength int he arms of God.

Cathi, you are smart to drop everything to be there for your dad. I did the same for Mom and I am so grateful for that time with her. I've never regretted it for a second.

I am breathing a sigh of relief for you and your husband. I saw him ladies, and he is the last person you would pick as a heart patient.

I'm surrounding you and your family in prayer.

Cathi, I'm so relieved for you about your husband's health. God will lead you on what to do about your dad. Just remember, he's the only one you'll ever have...you can't say that about your job.
(((HUGS)))

You and your Dad are in my prayer. My Dad passed away from lung cancer in July 2002 and I really miss him. We didn't have much time to prepare as he was diagnosed with stage 4 and died shortly after the diagnosis was made.

Please tell him you love him - I wish my brothers and sisters had had time to do that...

You are in our prayers

Donna

Optimumsteps, I hope everything goes well for both your men. Prayng for all three of you.

Thank you ladies. Dotsie is right, you would've never guessed Richard to be a heart patient. We were very shocked when he was first diagnosed. The Dr. said his arteries looked like a 20 year old. But the valve is the problem and the A-fibs.

I know this sounds lame, but I am still working on getting my disability. My dad took well to the chemotherapy the first few days. Yesterday he took a turn downhill and today my mom broke down. This lead to me having an anxiety attack today at work. So I called my therapist and he told me to go home and take the rest of the week off and go visit my parents. He'll document for me that I needed the time off to recover.

If I resign now, I will not get the disability, and I have that benefit and have been paying into the insurance. I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents. It shouldn't take long for me to get it.

For now, I probably will not be able to come online as much as before. But I will check periodically because you all mean so much to me.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi,
Please see the private message I sent you. Sending prayers your way.

JJ

JawJaw, I sent you a reply. You are a sweetie!

I need to rephrase something. Instead of saying:

Quote:

---

"I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents."

---

I should've said something along the lines of it wouldn't hurt to have that extra money to help with the trips. It will be okay if I don't have the extra money.

My dad insisted I do not give up my job, I thought the disability would help ease his mind and not feel guilty or anything. My dad is the type of person, whenever something would happen, he always encouraged us to proceed as normal.

I just felt I needed to elaborate on this further. I should have been on disability anyway. My therapist recommended that to me a couple of years ago because of my bi-polar. But I didn't take heed to it then because, I just wanted to proceed as normal, just like my dad taught me.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi all,

Well it has been a tough road for my dad. I had to leave a few weeks ago because he wasn't doing well at all with his first round of chemotherapy. He did good the first couple of days then went downhill pretty fast. I had an anxiety attack because I felt so helpless. My therapist put me on a leave of absense. I couldn't believe what I saw when I got to Northern VA. My dad was in terrible shape and he looked almost like a skeleton. I feel bad for my mom because she is worried and my dad snaps at her alot. We were told that it is the chemotherapy and this happens all the time. I am referring to the snapping at my mom part.

Well, as it turned out, my dad had taken pain killers up to the time he started the chemotherapy. That is what made him so incapacitated(SP). Last week he started his second round and is doing better with it now. He is even eating more.

Anyway, I am going to drive my parents to NC next week. My dad is going to Duke and get another opinion. I have an aunt that works there and she was able to arrange this. Actually, she begged my dad to come and get another opinion.

Anyway, I am so sorry I haven't been around. Please forgive me ladies. I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi,
We're there with you and your parents. We absolutely understand your absence and will continue the prayers being lifted up for you all. Whenever it is convenient for you, keep us abreast, otherwise know we are with you spiritually every step of the way. JJ

Cathi, I'm on the run too, but you've been on my mind and in my heart-prayers throughout the past few weeks. I sat through my brother's first chemotherapy last week and carried your Dad in my heart the entire time. I'm holding both your Dad and my brother together in my daily (like, 24/7!) prayers. So you're not alone, ever! How I know that feeling of helplessness and dismay at the weakness and changes in your Dad's body. Just keep your chin up and your hope alive...one day, one step at a time is all we can do.

Cathi,
My heart goes out to you and your family. My advice to you is to spend as much time with him as you can. If you can't leave your job then just be with him on the weekends. I spent the last two months of my Dad's life with him and wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world..(Well except to have him be healthy)
I can't even write anymore as I'm getting teary eyed.
My prayers are with you.

OMG, I don't think I will ever get over how supportive and sensitive everyone is at BWS. Thanks all for your continued prayers. I am going to spend as much time as I can with my dad. I will be able to be there for his next chemotherapy. My brother has been with him for the others.

Eagle, I think of you all the time and you are still in my prayers.

I am sorry TVC15, I didn't mean to dredge up some memories and make you cry. Thanks for taking the time to advise me, and your thoughtfulness.

JJ, you are the best lady. I am beyond flattered that you are my friend.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi, in my earlier email I signed off by saying "keep your chin up"...I can't believe I said it, and my only defence is that my 5-yr-old granddaughter was at my elbow nagging me to get off the computer (I took a quick trip here while she was napping...turned out to be a very quick nap and trip!)

Anyway, I actually don't like that phrase "keep your chin up"...it tends to sound off-handed and impatient. But it just came out, when what I really wanted to do was encourage you to keep your faith and hope alive, because I know for certain that neither one of us are in this alone...Somebody is walking this road with us, even if the prayed-for healing doesn't come in the way or timeframe we wish it would. Even this has a purpose beyond our current comprehension.

Eagle, sweetheart, I didn't think anything like that. I actually liked it, so you see, it was there for a reason.

One thing, I rarely get offended at anything. I feel I know you and I can read between the lines. Don't worry, I want you to ease your mind around me. You have other issues to focus on.

I love you alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi and Eagle, I pray for both of you and your loved ones going through chemo.

When I experienced it, my mantra was
"This too shall pass. 90 days to go and I'll be better."
"This too shall pass. 89 days left and I'll be better..."

Maybe that will help.

Cathi,
The memories are mostly good and I like to think of him so don't feel badly for bringing this up. I kept it quiet while I went through this but I think it would have helped had I been able to share this with all of my boomer sisters.
My Dad was at stage 4 when we found out. There really was no hope at that point. He couldn't have the chemo because he was too weak. I'm praying that your father will stay strong and have a great outcome from the chemo. Duke is a great place for him to be!

Thanks Meredith, as I said in Eagle's Thread, great idea about the mantra. Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I am so happy you survived this dreaded disease and I love you alot!

TVC15, I think you are so brave to come and tell me these details. It is so hard to get an idea of an outcome. One day all is well and next thing you know it, downhill again. Sort of like the cancer is teasing you. I watched my grandmother die of stomach and ovarian cancer. Although my dad is undergoing chemo, he is not going to get radiation treatment. The doctor said that it just might burn the lungs. At first my dad was told that he is stage 3b, then they said stage 4. This is why my aunt begged him to come to Duke because she didn't like this flip flop back and forth answers he was getting. He had to endure so many tests since, get this, November. It was finally in June that the word cancer was even mentioned. Then it was you have lung cancer, then you don't have cancer, then another test, and another. This hasn't set well with me either and I am glad my aunt took charge of that. My dad is a retired Army Sergeant and he takes pride in the Military. So he has been going to Walter Reed Army Hospital. He has good health insurance and he could go anywhere he wants but he chose Walter Reed.

On a side note about Walter Reed. My mom and dad said it is a very sad place to be now because our wounded war heros are there. They have never seen so many young people with missing arms and missling legs. It breaks my heart just thinking about this and picturing this in my mind.

Thanks again for your inputs they certainly help and I love you alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Hi all, great news! My dad had a cat-scan yesterday and the tumor shrunk! Isn't God wonderful? WoooHooo!!!

Cheers,
Cathi

Oh Cathi, that is wonderful news! We'll keep praying!
I'm so happy for you and your entire family!

Oh Cathi, this is INCREDIBLE news! Praise God! How many chemo cycles has he had so far? That's amazing that they've shrunk in such a short period of time...very hopeful news!

Cathi
My heart and prayers go out to you, your dad and your family. Take care of yourself during this strenous time.
Ann

Cathi I love coming here and hearing good news! Thank you Lord!

We're still praying! JJ

Hi Everyone,

I am sorry I haven't been here for awhile. I have been back and forth and back and forth, LOL.

Well, I took my parent's to NC at Duke Univ Hospital. The Dr. my dad saw is the Dr. who is doing research on lung cancer. After she reviewed my dad's records, she had informed us that Walter Reed is treating my dad exactly as she would be. That was very comforting to know.

Her prognosis was, that if my dad can tolerate the chemotherapy, he should be on his way to remission. She told us there is no cure, which we knew. But she said remission was a strong possibility.

Although he is not out of the woods yet, we are still optimistic.

I am leaving again for N. VA on Monday for ten days. His 4th round of chemotherapy is on the 4th.

Thanks so much for being here ladies, I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

I am so happy to hear he is doing better.... Ladies after reading this post please open the one it is covering, also posted today. I need your prayers too. Thanks!

Hi Cathi: So glad to read the good news regarding your dad. The Lord is good to his children and he really cares for each one. I continue to pray for you and your family. Blessings!

Cathi, thanks for the update. You should correspond with Eagle right now. She's caring for her brother.

Hi all,

I just returned from my parent's and now it doesn't look good for my dad. His last test showed that the tumor didn't budge this time. They have stopped chemotherapy and are going to do other tests and give him other kinds of meds. I don't quite understand all of this. The Dr told him he had a little over a year left. I felt so bad, it must be horrible to hear those words. Anyway, I just want him to have a good quality of life. He is planning on going to Greece with my mom in the spring. It is important to him to go there. Even though he is American, he considers Greece his home as well.

Love you all Best,
Cathi

Cathi, my heart goes out to you. I went through a similiar situation with my Dad. It was a long good-bye. It hurts, and when I look back I just wish I could have made him laugh more. You still have that chance. God bless.

Life's transitions are so heart-wrenching! My mother was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease (talk about LONG good-byes) and I just lost my Dad last summer suddenly, after a fall.

Take advantage of the time your Dad has left - Perhaps sit down and think of all the things you've left unsaid and say them.
And once you've done that...just HUG HIM!!! There is nothing like a Dad's hug.
I have my father's flannel shirts and how much I wish to feel his warm hugs again, coming from within those shirts...

I'm sorry for what you are all going through, Cathi. It's a wonderful thing that he has the strength and desire to travel. No matter its length, life is SHORT...

Cathi, I'm so sorry. I hope he gets to make his trip. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Cathi, my heart aches with you. I know that the agony is and will continue to be breathtaking, but don't let that keep you from seizing every moment you can with your Dad. Grab onto the incredible gift you've been given to truly celebrate life with him. I didn't get that chance with my Dad (he died very suddenly). I pray that somehow you'll all be able to reach in underneath the grief and the agony of this long journey and recognize the hidden blessing you've all been given to seize this day with all the living you can squeeze into each moment.

Cathi,
We are all reading your post today with sad hearts. I can tell you that if I had one wish, it would be to see Daddy once more and say, "thank you." He gave me such an incredible childhood and so much love. Please let it flow easy off your lips. I will pray for all of you to find the strength to live only in the moments and to somehow not let this rob you of today! You will be in my thoughts, daily. God bless,

JJ

We're here with you on this, Cathi. Is there any way your mom and dad can take their trip sooner, in case he's not feeling well by spring?

The one benefit of being "given a year" is that you have the opportunity to say all the things you wanted to say but haven't, and can maybe do the things you've wanted to do but have been putting off. I guess we all have that opportunity every day, but we don't always do it if we aren't given a deadline.

Cathi, I've been wondering how your dad was doing. Sorry the latest news wasn't good, but hope springs eternal. In the meantime, enjoy everything with him.
((HUGS))

Thank you so much ladies. Knowing that you are all praying for him gives me great comfort and strength.

He seemed in good spirits when we left the other day. Of course, he bought a new computer and finally had it all hooked up. He is enjoying his new toy and I think this keeps him from sitting around all day and feeling like crap.

I think he is beginning to get the attitude of enjoying himself with the time he has left. (Sometimes I believe that is a factor in healing)

Kathy, he cannot make the trip sooner because of other tests that he has to go through soon. Unfortunately, he has to wait nearly two months for that. After that, he will have more time to be able to spend in Greece when he goes. Right now, the weather in Rhodes is damp and cold because it is an island. This would not be good for him because he has rheumatoid(SP) arthritis.

JJ, I had given my dad a book on Father's Day written by Tim Russett, the title is something like "letters to our fathers" I don't remember the exact title, shame on me. I had the opportunity to thank him for the many things he had done for us. I wanted to point out to him that I never remember him complaining about anything that had to do with working and taking us places, etc...

Okay, I need to get going and do some laundry. I am going back to work tomorrow because my FMLA time is up. It worked out well because my dad is well enough to take care of some of the minor things. Thank God my parents are close enough for me to be able to take a trip on weekends and holidays.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi

Dear Cathi:
When words can't convey enough, please remember we're with you and share your sadness. I do pray your dad enjoys the time he has.

It's great that he's looking forward to that trip to Greece, and that he's entertained with his computer, etc. I continue to pray for the Lord's guidance in this. May you be strengthened by his strength.

I don't know if knowing ahead of time is worse than loosing them suddenly, but do enjoy him and share the love you have for each other. Good memories never die.

Dear Cathi: I am so sorry to read about the Dr's prognosis on your Dad's health. I shall continue to pray for your Dad.

Cathi, I think it's great that your dad has a computer to occupy his mind. DIstraction is one of the best medicines.

How's it feel to be back at work?

Dear Optimumsteps,
Ten years ago, my sister-in-law's brother was given 6 months to live. Doctors' can be wrong. I've personally witnessed that on four different occasions.
Prayer is a powerful tool; will keep your dad in prayer.
Luv in the Lord,

Cathi: Bonnie is right! Someone very close to my heart has lived around 8-9 years more than what the Dr. expected. This person has a solid faith in the Lord and lives with gratitude for each breath she takes.

God still works miracles today. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. So, I pray your dad enjoys each today as a blessing from above.

Hi ladies, so sorry I hadn't responded in awhile. Bonnierose, I agree as well. Time will tell and just because a Dr. says, does not make it so. My grandmother had bladder cancer about 13 years ago. She had radiation treatment and she really got sick and delirious. I remember our family doctor came to see her and said, "I give her two months at the most." Well, 13 years later, she is still with us.

Please pray that my dad fully has Jesus Christ in his heart. He may have already, but he hasn't shared that with me, and he doesn't need to. It would be between him and The Lord. It just doesn't hurt to pray about it though.

Thanks so much dear ladies!

Cheers,
Cathi

Cathi, that is the most important thing, after all... Jesus in his heart. I continue to lift him up in prayer. Have a great Thanksgiving!