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#83037 - 08/03/06 12:04 AM Re: My Dad [Re: Bluebird]
Wisdom&Life Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
Hi all,

I am trying really hard not to disappear again. Well, Richard had his catheterization yesterday and now they can say, for sure, that his leakage is mild and he does not need open heart surgery. I am so relieved.

My dad had his first Chemotherapy today and it pains me not to be there. He called me afterwards and told me that he was feeling fine and he explained to me the procudure. He was there for 8 hours, poor guy. I don't know if I told you what they finally said. He now has been told that his cancer is stage 4. He is going to have chemotherapy once every 3 weeks.

I have an aunt who is an anethestist(SP) nurse at Duke University and she finally talked my dad into getting another opinion at Duke. He has an appointment on Aug 17. He has been going to Walter Reed.

In the meantime, and because of my bi-polar, I have been advised by my councelor to apply for disability. I am seeking a second opinion tomorrow. You see, at my work place, they will not give me a leave of absence because, they view this as "going to lend support". Well, I view this as "I don't want to be robbed of any time I have left with my dad". In the meantime, my dad is like don't do anything that will jeopardize your job. I feel so bad because my mom doesn't drive and my brother has been doing all the work. Eventually, he is going to need some relief.

Anyway, just thought I would give you an update and let you know that I feel your prayers. I am not sure if I am going to be able to post much for awhile, but I will try to. I know emphatically, that it has cheered me up to read the posts.

Love and Cheers,
Cathi

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#83038 - 08/03/06 01:19 AM Re: My Dad [Re: Wisdom&Life]
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
Cathi, thanks for the update. I've been keeping you, your Dad and husband in my prayers every day (I especially thought of you while walking on the beautiful boardwalk along the St Lawrence River in Sept-Iles, Quebec at sunset). Your Dad's got a long journey ahead of him - as do you. I will continue to pray for strength, courage, time and healing for your Dad, husband - and you!

If I could be bold enough to speak my opinion, I'd agree with your counsellor - I wish with all my heart that I had taken time off from my job to "be there" for my Mom when she was battling cancer. You can always find another job, but you can never regain that lost time with your Dad...if your heart is leading you to be there for him (and your husband), then DO IT, and relish that time with your family...I can pretty much guarantee that you will NOT REGRET it - but if you don't take that leave of absence, you may well end up like me, regretting with great sadness not taking that precious time.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it.
If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

(Maya Angelou)

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#83039 - 08/03/06 06:13 AM Re: My Dad [Re: Eagle Heart]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
Hi, Cathi and Eagle: We continue to pray for your dear ones. I have only just heard news myself that my youngest sister's husband is suffering from pancreatic cancer and there is'nt anything more they can do for him medically. He is now in palliative care. Please include him in your prayers as well.

Is it not possible for work to grant an emergency/sympathy leave, Cathi? Do you have a contract of employment which may have provisions covering this? Also, if the situation is such that it is causing strain on your health, might it work to have a Dr's certificate and apply for sick leave? I pray that God helps in such a way where you can be able to attend to your Dad's need without compromise to your job in the process.
_________________________
<><

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#83040 - 08/03/06 02:47 PM Re: My Dad [Re: AvalonBlondi]
Songbird Offline
Member

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
Hi Cathi: I'm sorry your family is going through this. I'll be prying for your dad. Remember God is by your side. His presence brings peace and comfort.

Eagle, I'm also praying for your family. May each hurting heart find rest and strength int he arms of God.
_________________________
In His love, Songbird
http://expressionpublishingministries.com
www.inkspirationsbyrhodi.blogspot.com
NABBW & NAWW

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#83041 - 08/04/06 12:25 PM Re: My Dad [Re: Songbird]
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Cathi, you are smart to drop everything to be there for your dad. I did the same for Mom and I am so grateful for that time with her. I've never regretted it for a second.

I am breathing a sigh of relief for you and your husband. I saw him ladies, and he is the last person you would pick as a heart patient.

I'm surrounding you and your family in prayer.
_________________________
Founder Emeritus of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women.
www.nabbw.com
www.boomerwomenspeak.com


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#83042 - 08/04/06 04:37 PM Re: My Dad
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Cathi, I'm so relieved for you about your husband's health. God will lead you on what to do about your dad. Just remember, he's the only one you'll ever have...you can't say that about your job.
(((HUGS)))
_________________________
Jackie

In My Father's house are many mansions...John 14:2

http://www.myspace.com/westernbluebird

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#83043 - 08/05/06 07:16 PM Re: My Dad [Re: AvalonBlondi]
49erDonna Offline
Member

Registered: 06/24/06
Posts: 384
Loc: California
You and your Dad are in my prayer. My Dad passed away from lung cancer in July 2002 and I really miss him. We didn't have much time to prepare as he was diagnosed with stage 4 and died shortly after the diagnosis was made.

Please tell him you love him - I wish my brothers and sisters had had time to do that...

You are in our prayers

Donna

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#83044 - 08/05/06 10:36 PM Re: My Dad [Re: 49erDonna]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Optimumsteps, I hope everything goes well for both your men. Prayng for all three of you.
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#83045 - 08/09/06 12:13 AM Re: My Dad [Re: chatty lady]
Wisdom&Life Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 724
Loc: Chesapeake, VA
Thank you ladies. Dotsie is right, you would've never guessed Richard to be a heart patient. We were very shocked when he was first diagnosed. The Dr. said his arteries looked like a 20 year old. But the valve is the problem and the A-fibs.

I know this sounds lame, but I am still working on getting my disability. My dad took well to the chemotherapy the first few days. Yesterday he took a turn downhill and today my mom broke down. This lead to me having an anxiety attack today at work. So I called my therapist and he told me to go home and take the rest of the week off and go visit my parents. He'll document for me that I needed the time off to recover.

If I resign now, I will not get the disability, and I have that benefit and have been paying into the insurance. I am going to need the money to pay for taking my trips back and forth to help my parents. It shouldn't take long for me to get it.

For now, I probably will not be able to come online as much as before. But I will check periodically because you all mean so much to me.

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi
_________________________
Proud member of National Association Of Baby Boomer Women!
www.nabbw.com

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#83046 - 08/09/06 12:48 AM Re: My Dad [Re: Wisdom&Life]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
Cathi,
Please see the private message I sent you. Sending prayers your way.

JJ

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