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#82574 - 08/04/06 01:37 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Thanks for asking, Dotsie. To be honest, I'm so excruciatingly frightened that it's almost unbearable. But I keep putting it all into God's hands, gritting my teeth and willing myself to just breathe and trust. So I'm constantly waffling between a strange serenity and this excruciating fear...quite a roller coaster ride.
My brother is still waiting to hear from the cancer clinic as to when his chemo treatments will begin. The waiting is very hard - you'd think that once someone's been diagnosed with cancer, they'd want to start the chemo right away to begin eradicating it!!
In the meantime, he's having a very difficult time fighting off infections - with the lymph nodes (the infection fighters) dysfunctional and the diabetes still not stabilized (because of the steroids he's taking to shrink the lymph nodes), his immune system is not working. When he was in hospital, he had a biopsy done - a tiny incision in the neck. Well, now that tiny incision has become a raging infection that he's having a difficult time getting rid of. The frightening irony doesn't escape us - that these infections could be more of a danger than the cancer itself!
Anyway, we're battling on, taking it one day at a time; my brother is upbeat, eating well, and enjoying his time off work. I'm a different story - while I'm very confident that God could and would heal him (whether through the doctors and medical treatments or by some divine miracle) if He wanted to, I've been disappointed before, so I'm having trouble trusting that He will want to heal my brother. I know He loves us, and it's not so much a faith-in-God crisis, but a reluctance to once again submit my will to God's will, knowing quite painfully what that could mean.
But I also know, from a lifetime of walking with Him that He really does love us and really does want the best for each of us (ie, abundant life), so I have to trust in that love and know that whatever happens, He'll be there through it all.
Edited by Eagle Heart (08/04/06 01:49 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#82575 - 08/04/06 02:18 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
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(((Eagle)))
I recently went through a brother health situation as well. Also a lymph node issue. So, being so concerned about a brother is personal and familiar to me.
I'm empathizing w/you, dear! I know the worry and feelings that go behind it all. And my brother, too, was upbeat and courageous. Wonder if I would be that way facing such horrific news.
Anyway, just wanted you to know I understand.
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#82576 - 08/04/06 08:02 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Eagle, I'm sorry for your family's loss. What a beautiful song that is! Thanks for sharing those words. They are inspiring. Still praying for your brother and the entire family. Blessings!
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#82577 - 08/04/06 08:23 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: Songbird]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Thank you Songbird. I know that you're going through a time of grief as well; your prayers mean a lot to me.
That song continues to companion me. Whenever I get down and afraid, I hear Him saying to my heart: "When this trouble passes over, you and I will walk away knowing that our love survived...trust me, this is Love".
Last night, driving home from having supper with our granddaughter, there was a gorgeous bright orange sunset splashed all along the entire western horizon - my favourite kind of sunset. And there in the middle of nowhere across the darkening sky was a beautiful rainbow! Where did it come from??? It was too dark for a rainbow, and it hadn't rained, so it was totally unexpected. I took as a Gift - a reminder of God's promise of faithfulness to His people...that He would never leave me alone to face this darkness.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#82579 - 08/18/06 12:07 AM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: jawjaw]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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This is going to be a very long journey. I definitely don't want to monopolize the prayer request forum, as I know there are so many in need of our prayers and concern. But I hope you don't mind if once in awhile I resurrect this thread to ask for continued prayers from those of you who have the time and energy to do so, or for anyone who doesn't have enough people to pray for (as if!).
Anyway, this is a tough part of the journey. After all this time, my brother still hasn't begun chemo. It's very hard on him, very demoralizing and frustrating. So I would ask for prayers:
1) that God would give the compassion, wisdom and necessary knowledge to my brother's doctors so that they will treat him with care and the right treatments (eg, medications); 2) that God would continue to grant me the wisdom to know how best to be there for my brother on these kinds of days when he's feeling so down and demoralized; 3) that my brother will continue to find hope, perseverance and will to stay the course through every setback and disappointment along the way.
Thanks.
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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#82580 - 08/18/06 12:39 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: Eagle Heart]
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Dear Eagle, I continue to pray for your brother and you too! This must be devastating! But some things that always come to my mind when in difficulties are: 1-"God won't let me bear more than I can handle". 2- "if he is allowing me to go through this trial it's because he still wants to polish me that I may shine for his glory".
Please remember God is with each of us during difficult times, closer than ever. That rainbow story is just another blessing!-God cares and promises to be "in the fiery pit with his children"-just as he was with the three young hebrews that remained faithful to him, even when facing death in Babylon. He will provide strength and comfort you as you need him.
Love and peace,
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#82581 - 08/18/06 01:53 PM
Re: Please Pray for my Brother
[Re: Songbird]
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Member
Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
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Thank you Songbird. Your (God's) words are comforting to me, who believes them and takes them to heart. My brother isn't as spiritually "there" yet, and can't quite handle "God-talk", so I have to keep these hopeful signs and words to myself, although I try to convey them in other ways, through actions and other words that don't quite include God's name (I'm getting very creative in that regard). I think my brother knows where I'm coming from and doesn't mind, as long as I don't fling God into his face right now. But knowing what comfort and strength God does give to ME, it's really hard to watch a loved one struggle through these rough days without that loving strength and companionship to lean against. But then, maybe this (the journey into God) is part of his cancer journey as well...
Edited by Eagle Heart (08/18/06 01:55 PM)
_________________________
When you don't like a thing, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
(Maya Angelou)
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