Beezer,
Glad to have you here. Try out copygals blog. You may find more support and insight there as well.
Actually, you may find many threads here interesting. I stick to the dieting forum which needs a password that you can get from Dotsie. It is a fun way to keep track of your weight and get support from other women at the same time.

Lynn

Beezer, welcome aboard. I am so sorry to hear about the losss of your husband. It sounds so weak and simple for me to say that, but I mean it. Do you have family living in town? Do you have a circle of friends...and if you do, do they meet you where you are, or do they expect you to be moving on?

I hope you'll continue to hang out and also check other forums.

Dear Breezer, Christina (welcome) and everyone. It sounds so strange to call myself a "widow." I went to a pot luck on Sunday, it was my first outing since Ed died a month ago. It felt great to get out with friends and mingle.....but I feel like a new chick just feeling my way through this new life. I don't mind being alone - always relished in it, but now I am "really" alone!! The house feels so quiet. I had a massage last week and a Reiki Healing treatment - they both made me feel so much better - like a weight had been lifted off me. Plus I'm seeing a lot of clients which always helps me. I appreciate all you lovely ladies here, it's comforting to know you are going thruogh the same thing. Hugs, Betsie

Beezer,
So glad you found us. I can personally guarantee that this forum will help you feel less lonely and help you make new friends; it did for me. The grieving process is different for each person, and it takes as long as it takes. People think after the first year, you've pretty much moved on and you're doing all right. Not necessarily so, I'm afraid. You can go for days or even weeks, doing well, not crying your eyes out all the time, even feeling strong. Then wham! out of the blue, you feel so depressed it's hard to put one foot in front of the other. I once went three whole weeks without tears, doing well, I thought. Then found myself in a major meltdown. So, it's okay, it's normal. Finding things to keep yourself occupied with is a good idea though. It really helps. Just don't feel disappointed with yourself for slipping back once in a while; it happens. Come here to the forum and talk to us, we'll always listen and give you a shoulder to cry on, if you need it. And feel free to visit my blog and talk and cry if you want. Talking about our husbands, the problems, the solutions, and how we're doing is very therapeudic. And count me in as a new friend.

Wow - heavy thread here - so much wisdom - and loneliness - and perfectly put sentiments - and friendship.

I think the one thing that amazes me the most about grief is how alone you can feel in a crowd of people. You hear their words and converse back and forth - but there's a "hollow-ness" to it all. They go on with their lives and the world spins around but somehow you're just a fraction of a step off.

Does it ever get better? sure
Will it ever be the same? nope

I love you ladies -- you bring me down to earth, help me soar, walk with me when I'm lost and remind me what I live for

I am so sorry for all of you who have lost a spouse. I often think of my mom who will be 90 in August and how lonely she is without my dad. But reading how lonely you gals are at a much younger age makes me very sad. I work with a gal who lost her husband 20 years ago when she was 42. She raised her daughters to be lovely young women, who are now grown and married. However, there is still a missing piece in her life, the love of her life. Yes, she has dated a very nice man for many years but she claims it just isn't the same as the wonderful 20 years she had with her husband. She is fun, active and very warm...but she is sad and as her friends and co-workers, we wish we could make it better. But we can't. I wish you all well with my prayers and thoughts.

I have decided that I am a triumphant survivor. Or at least I am striving to be one. I read Ann Kaiser Stearns book called Coming Back. She talks about how there are three kinds of survivors. One person remains broken by their grief, one goes through the grieving process and returns to the way they were before. The third kind of survivor becomes stronger after coming through the process of grieving. She said that people who reach out to others and join groups or seek help are members of the third group. She didn't mention forums but I am sure if she had thought of it she would have have included them in her third group too.

Beezer, welcome to the forums. I hope you will find many new friendships here and also feel the love that is distributed daily. Everyone is sincere and truly do want to help each other in the healing process.

I also think the book you've mentioned would be a good read even if one hasn't lost a spouse, don't you? I intend to see if my library has it. I would like to read it to maybe help my Mom cope more. She does wonderfully after losing her spouse of 54 years, but reading the book would give me insight and maybe help me to be more compassionate toward others. You think?

JJ

I can't even phantom losing a spouse after 54 years, my Lord how tramatic and devastating that must be. God Bless all those women. I lost my husband after only five years and still miss him and in comparison with these iother women, like JJ's mom, my husband and I hardly even began our life together..

Beezer, That sounds like a book we should add to the resoure page here at BWS. Do you recommend it? Happy to see you back and posting again. I hope you'll consider jumping in the other forums and sharing there too.