AzGaye, welcome to another Irishwoman. My maiden name is McNamara.

Thanks for sharing your loss and insight. I beleive wholeheartedly that we will see our loved ones again and it will be so sweet! Those who live in the Lord never see each other for the last time. I have that saying in a little frame with Irish green trim sitting next to Mom's picture in my living room. Hope those words are a comfort to you.

Melissa, I too am grateful you are a believer. Your faith and the prayers of others will sustain you. I pray you have a support system in town. Are there people to give you an occasional break?

I will add you to my prayer list. I will also ask Lynn, a woman who posted here throughout her husband's cancer and treatments, to come in here and lift you up. She is a 48 year old boomer who also has a young child at home.

Please update us as you have time. Meantime, we'll be covering you in prayer.

Melissa,
Well, you are living through caregivers hell. But you still have him and you need to hang on to that.
Secondly, you have the women here at this site and they are worth their weight in gold when you need to vent, cry on someone's shoulder, need a prayer....whatever you need they are here. Count on it.
Briefly, my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer September 2003 during surgery to remove a benign tumor that turned out to be cancer. I don't need to explain the emotional turmoil you go through when you hear those words. Anyway his chance to survive were slim. He did his radiation for 6 weeks and chemo then off for 2 weeks from the chemo and back on for three weeks. This went on until the end of April 2004. I have a young son who is now 7. He was 4 at the time of surgery.
Please send me a personal message and we can talk more openly about what hospital you are going to and more details. I can help. I may not be able to work miracles but I can be here for you whenever you need it. I do not live that far away from you. We travelled to Hopkins.
Let me here from you. We can talk statistics and what all that means and most importatnly how to live!!!
We go back for a check up in 2 weeks and the jitters are setting in already. If his comes back it is just a matter of time. There really is no more treatment for him. We pray and try to live a noraml life. And remember somebody has to survive to make the "good" part of the stats. We plan on being that part of the stats so you try and do the same.
To send me a personal email click on the little envelope next to my name in the post. I know you are trying to get through the next hour so let us work on getting you through the next week and the next month until you get this behind you for awhile. It will never go away but there is a chance at life again. I am the one who has struggled the most with getting make to life and making plans past that next scan but I am making strides. You will too. Believe it.

Will keep you very close to my heart and always in my prayers.
Lynn

Lynn, thanks for responding to Melissa. I sent her a PM to let her know women are responding to her post. She must be busy, but I'm sure she'll be back. Thanks for caring.

And I'm praying for John's scan. Exactly when is it? Maybe I can fast that morning for you.

Thanks Dotise, it is the 18th.

I have been watching for Melissa since I posted. Hoping all is well and she responds. There is a lot of support here for her as you know.

Lynn

I have been thinking about Melissa, too. After my experience taking care of Ed I have a much more profound empathy towards caregivers. I send her much strength, love and courage. Love, Betsie

Betsie, isn't it the truth? We really learn from our experiences. I was clueless about the realities of cancer until Mom was diagnosed and I lived it with her. I'm sure I'd gain an even deeper perspective if I became the patient.

I recall hearing so many stories about radiation and chemo. I was sympathetic, prayer for them, but didn't get it until I witmessed it first-hand.

I pray Melissa will be here again when she has a sec.