I just don't understand the logic. If I was bad enough to go for a married man, why wouldn't I do it as a married woman?

The pastor's wife of a small church I used to attend was extremely jealous of me - I won't go into details, but it was very obvious. I never said or did anything to make her feel that way. I'm not flirtatious at all - I wish I could be more, actually! I treat everyone the same, and I'm sure most decent women do also.

Daisygirl

I don't think jealousy on the part of a mans wife is our fault, married or single. I think its a flaw in her confidence in herself. I avoid at all costs anything that might give the impression I am hunting for a man, any man and still I get that "look" from some married women, go figure. It is understandable in some cases however with these flirtacious boobs their married to....

I, too, was widowed, after a long and very good marriage. So busy was I in my work as a professor and writer that I was able to compact my grief into a dull ache for a while. I taught my classes, even made jokes and laughed. Students told me later that they had no idea that I had suffered such a huge loss.
It was only after I took very early retirement that my world caved in. I had lost the most important person in my life - and I had given up the career that I loved. Then, two years after my husband had died, I fell to pieces.

I want you to know, though,impossible as it may seem now, life does go on.You will start again. Good friends and caring children help a lot and you will find new and absorbing interests and fascinations.

I wrote a book about those years after widowhood - and I should also add that I have since happily remarried - something I thought I would never do.

I know that you, too, will recover even though you will never forget. Nor should you.Blessings.

Monica Morris

Monica, welcome. Please include a link to your website in your signature. You can do so by going to the top-right side of the forum home page and clicking on MY PROFILE. You should be able to add it easily.

Welcome. Sorry to hear about your loss.

I have heard that if you fdon't tkae the time to grieve, it will catch up with you.

Welcome Monica to the Forum...

Monica,
WELCOME! And thank you for sharing your wisdom with everyone here. I'm sure your words of encouragement will go a long way in helping someone to heal.

JJ

Hugs to everyone here. It is a painful thing to lose a spouse. I had been married for 32 years to the love of my life who was 13 years my senior. He died on Nov 10, 2003. I'm still in what I would call a recovery mode but I know he would want me to carry on and really live not just exist so I have strived to do this.

Last fall I lost a younger brother very unexpectedly (aneurism) and have been busy as executor of his estate. Two deaths in two years has been a bit rough and I have my down days but getting outside myself to think of and share with others and help where I can is the most positive thing I can do to ward of the blues.

Dotsie says I am just a tad too old to be a true boomer :-( but here I am anyway. (04/27/43). Lin, my hubby's b'day was March 30; it does hurt a bit. I always made his favorite cake and usually Cornish style pasties (meat pies) which he loved.

The most positive thing I can think of is that no one is truly gone as long as they are remembered with love--and clearly your husband is by you and your children--so a bit of him is always with you. Two songs make me teary but also help: Josh Groban's "To Where You Are" and Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." Both attest to the power of love to outlive the body and hint that there may be a joyous reunion in the future. Let's all believe this if we can. Sorry, I tend to get gabby <wry grin> cuz I am Irish and a writer, I guess.

AzGaye

AzGaye, you are so welcome here and fit right into this particular thread. I am too old to be a Boomer as well but yet here I am and here I stay and add much to the forum as I'm sure you will.

Ok, if ya'll are too old to be Boomers, then I will be the "baby" boomer of the bunch...I turned 45 last week.

I am a something...I lost my fiance 8 years ago next week to a car accident just before giving birth to our daughter. We were not yet married but in my heart the lack of a licence didn't change the way I felt after the accident. Compound that by being 37 and pregnant with 2 teenaged sons at home also. (Oh and did I mention a jerk of an ex husband?)

About 18 months after losing him I met a wonderful man who loves me and my daughter as if she were his own. We have been together for nearly 7 years now. In February of this year while preparing to have his gallbladder out, they found that he has stomach cancer. We have been seeing doctor after doctor and have had every test known to man. Yesterday we finished 28 chemo and radiation treatments. We have 3 weeks to wait before they test him again to see if those treatments did any good. Two weeks after that, we meet with the doctors to see what the next game plan is.

I dont know if I am ready (I have proven that I am capable) to be alone again should things not work out with the treatments. This last weekend was the worst. When he gets severely dehydrated he becomes agitated and verbally abusive. Any attempts to help him are met with verbal jabs and insults. I know that it is a physical condition that causes this, he is the most gentle man in the world, but it still hurts when he gets like this. The only thing that helps is getting him IV fluids.

We travel 67 miles a day for his treatments on top of the 40 miles that I drive going to and from work. A typical day consists of getting our daughter on the bus, I leave for work, I come home from work 7 hours later, meet the bus, get him up and moving, back in the truck for at least an hour's drive to the hospital. Then IF they are on time with his treatment, that takes at least 30 minutes and then another hour home. Once at home, I have to figure out what we are going to eat (my daughter and I) and argue with him about what he is not going to eat that night. Try to wash clothes, run the dishwasher, get the kid in the shower and to bed and touch base with the rest of the family is done in the hour or so after we get home and then I fall on to the couch to start this all again at 7:15 the next morning. No wonder I have lost 22 pounds in the past few weeks!!!

Sorry this is so long, I am not asking for sympathy. Just know that prayer is what is sustaining me and has gotten me through tough times before. HE will see me through again.

Oh my Melissa, talk about a full plate. I can't even begin to imagine what your daily grind must be like. Thank God you are a believer because that will help to get you through this turmoil. May I welcome you to this site and just say vent all you need to ecause that seems to helps as well. We can and will be sympathetic because we are women and have experienced alot of the same problems. We will keep you in our prayers as well. If you go the the prayer thread you can ask for prayers from all the women and boy do Boomer womens prayers in this group ever work. God bless!