Since this Forum is brand new I was wondering who here is a widow?

I am. My husband died 4/10/1997 from cancer.

I sure hope that we can help one another because I still get so stressed from all of this sometimes that I don't think I can keep pushing on.

Good morning all,
I'm so sorry for your loss ChristinaR. My husband died 02/23/04. Can't believe it's been over two years already. It's been the hardest two years of my life. It's also been the most enlightening. It's been two years of re-inventing myself, soul-searching, and re-evaluating priorities. I came to the realization that after being a daughter, sister, wife, mother, SIL, MIL, and grandmother, and giving to all of them the last 57 years, it's time to take care of me.
Anyway, thanks Dotsie, for providing this forum, where widows can come and talk to others in this same awful little "club." We really need each other. Other family members and friends go on with their lives much the same as always, but we're the ones whose worlds have turned upside down. Talking helps.

I was widowed at a very young age with a new baby and the marriage was to the dearest, kindest and funniest man which has made it so hard to be with any other. I did find someone the exact opposite of number 1 and we managed to stay together for 14 years, he passed away as well back in 2000. I have always wondered if number 1 had lived if we would have been celebrating our life together in April which would have been our 48th anniversary. There was and is a hole in my heart and a longing that can never be extinguished...I remarried number 3 but divorced him so I wouldn't kill him myself. I do believe the old saying that only the good die young!

[ March 25, 2006, 06:42 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Hi Everyone,
I am also a widow, it will be a year on April 14,2006. I'm still adjusting, taking baby steps daily. I have 5 grown, married children, 7 grandchildren and a new one due in June. I do count my Blessings but the nights are long and lonely. I'm 57 and sort of feel like I need to do something other than work but haven't figured out what to do by myself. I'm so glad we have this site, the one where no one really wants to be...Sometimes faceless friends are the best
Looking forward to reading the new posts..

lin, welcome! Glad to see you jumped right in and began posting.

I'm sorry to hear fo your loss. Glad to hear you're surrounded by family.

What do yo like to do? Maybe we can help you find ways to make your evenings less lonely.

Heck, to begin with...you can always come here!

Hi Dotsie,
Well here I am, posting like crazy. To be honest Dotsie, I have been a mom/wife/grandma all my life and never thought about what I like to do. No one ever asked me that before. Food for thought? Hummmmm
Doesn't seem to be very busy here. Hopefully we'll hear from the others that posted.
I just love this place..
Hugs
Lin

I was widowed many years ago -- due to a 17 yr old drunk driver -- I think lack of closure was the worst part ---

lin -- it's amazing how we can live our whole lives for others isn't it -- perhaps this is "your" time now -- and you will find a "you" that accomplishes wonderful things

women who have been widowed may not need to post in this particular thread every day -- there are so many other places in the forum to chat and share, laugh and shake our heads -- but it's really nice to know that there is one place to go to just "vent" on "those" days

THANKS DOTSIE

Can this me my venting place.. not really venting, just being very sad today. Tomorrow is my husbands birthday. He was like a child on his special day and of course the kids and I made it seem like a national holiday. My plans for tomorrow are to go to the cemetary and get his grave ready for the spring and summer flowers. It's still cold here but I can put the fresh topsoil on and rearrange everything after the winter winds. Last year he took the grandchildren to the park to fly kites on his birthday. He was such a child when it came to them. Nothing was to silly or to much trouble. He even ate scrambled eggs with blue food coloring in it when our youngest grandson read "Green Eggs and Ham" for the first time and just knew Poppop would love them. He said they were the best eggs he ever had. If I had only known that was going to be his last birthday with us! I would have rented the biggest stadium in the country and would have had everyone celebrate this wonderful man who was taken much to soon! This whole world is a much lesser place without him!
I do know that I'll see him again, God still has things for me to accomplish here. I'm working real hard to deserve a place in Heaven and I know he'll be waiting for me.
Everyone says the "first" everthing is the hardest and this to shall pass. It just feels good to put words to paper, even cyber paper.
Thanks for listening..
Gentle hugs,
lin

lin, I'm sorry you are going through this pain. I'm sure you realize how fortunate you are to have had such a wonderful husband. You will always have him in your children, who certainly will have many of his good qualities.

Daisygirl

Lin, I can't say that it really gets easier. But it gets different. As time passes the constant ache that you are feeling right now eases off. But if you are like me you will still have that feeling of "what do I do with my life now". Like you I was a full-time wife and stay at home Mom. With my husband dead and my son grown I feel as if nobody needs me. I am here but I often ask myself Why am I here? Some days I feel like an invisible person. If I just disappeared like that Chesire Cat in Alice in Wonderland I feel like nobody would notice. I only have a High School education so getting a job with no skills that are marketable and no more education than that is impossible. I feel as if I don't really fit in ahywhere anymore. I hope that I am making sense.