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#81466 - 05/06/06 07:56 AM Re: getting closer
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
downdog, I hear ya girlfriend! My oldest is 21, just finished his third year of college almost ten hours from home and is driving home today! Woohoo. My daughter is 18, a senior in high school and beginning college in our state (but living on campus) in the fall, and my other son is 17, also a high school senior and beginning college in the fall four hours from home.

PLEASE stick around. We can support one another in the upcoming months. I will certainly be here for you.

Graduations are approaching. I am so happy for them because they've made some good choices in life. I'm also happy becasue they are becoming independent, but it means I'm out of a job...which has been happening for the past couple years.

I fill up thinking about sitting at their graduations...such a mixture of emotions...thanks to perimenopause!

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#81467 - 05/06/06 01:26 AM Re: getting closer
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Awww Dotsie...you are so close with your kids...that will never change...And wait until you see what happens to your family Holidays now that your daughter has decided to stay in state and close to home...3 of my kids chose that same path. I have had as many as 6 extra kids at my Thanksgiving table for the past 12 years, starting with my son's fraternity brothers, who could not afford to fly home for Thanksgiving and then again 2 weeks later for winter break....later one of my daughters brought me 9 extra kids for Easter...and of course they all got easter baskets right along with my own 4...I just know your home will be a favorite gathering place away from campus for your daughter and her friends...so don't retire your "Mommy" role prematurely... [Smile]

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#81468 - 05/07/06 04:39 AM Re: getting closer
downdog Offline
Member

Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 81
Loc: kansas
Well, I need to tell someone this, I've been walking around using the "happy face' for a couple or hours now and I sure don't feel that way. My youngest,as I've said before is graduating from high school in a few days, then is going to boot camp for the Air Natl Guard Reserves. I assumed she would come home for at LEAST a couple of weeks before Air Guard tech school, but just found out that she will fly straight from there to her training, and will be gone for 6 months. And she's so excited. I don't want to bring her down, but I wish she'd act a bit like she'd miss us. It all seems so sudden and real. I asked if we could visit, and she says-"sure but it's only 6 months mom'. My hubby says give her a chance she's too excited to realize that she'll miss us. I feel on the verge of another big crying fit and I hate it when I do that, I look like and feel like crap the next day!

You are right Dotsie, I feel like I've been forced into early retirement-where's my retirement package?! I want one filled with a bazillon hugs, a few IOU's for visits, a couple of I'll miss you's, 1- you were a great mom. Maybe I should give MY mom one of these, huh?!

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#81469 - 05/07/06 05:39 AM Re: getting closer
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
downdog, If I was a betting woman, I would bet a hundred $ that your daughter will miss you terribly. She just hasn't ever experienced being away and doesn't understand - but she will - and you will get your "retirement package" shortly thereafter.

Hang in there, it's a process.........

Daisygirl

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#81470 - 05/07/06 06:57 AM Re: getting closer
downdog Offline
Member

Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 81
Loc: kansas
Thanks Daisygirl. You want them to grow up happy and independent. You teach them to grow up happy and independent. Then they do... and we're left with whats to do?...

It sounds so sad. I, luckily, have alot of other interests, but they are "interests" not investments like kids and family are. I need to find something worthy of "investing" in again.

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#81471 - 05/08/06 12:28 AM Re: getting closer
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
I know exactly what you mean Downdog....my family has been my passion for 30 years....I'm looking...but can't seem to find another passion that makes me feel fulfilled and keeps me from missing being the "Mommy" I still long to be....I have warm wonderful children...and they constantly tell me they love me and value me...but they are now GROWNUPS...I want my babies back....and I am really having a tough time with this huge adjustment....

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#81472 - 05/08/06 02:30 AM Re: getting closer
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
I truly believe that feeling never goes away Nancy. My eldest is 44 and my baby is 39 and as busy as I stay, I miss them every single day and feel hurt when my son doesn't call or come by at least every week which he doesn't because he has a busy busy life too. It's like I am a visitor in his life now instead of a daily part of it. Silly I suppose but it does bother me.

[ May 07, 2006, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

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#81473 - 05/08/06 08:44 PM Re: getting closer
AvalonBlondi Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 1096
Loc: West Chester ,PA
Not silly at all Chatty...I know how you feel though...my son calls me often but travels for his job and parties on the weekends and so I don't get to see him half as much as I'd like...I try very hard not to complain to him because I don't want him to think I'm one of "those Mom's"...however...my heart aches when I don't see him every week or so...
But here is something upbeat in my life...my married daughter who lives on the West Coast is home with me this week and is staying right through Mother's Day....what a gift this week is!!
[Smile]

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#81474 - 05/08/06 10:56 PM Re: getting closer
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
It is so weird to begin to be on the side where my mother and MIL have been for years. What they have been experiencing for years is truly having a big impact on me now because I'm almost there. Very odd feeling.

downdog, I bet your daughter will be crying for you before you know it. You just wait.

daisy, you are so right. It is a process and I have so much more to go through. First, I have to get through these graduations.

Blondi, I'm hoping my daughter will bring friends here. That would be so much fun to be able to do for other college studnets what other families have been doing for my son who's almost 10 hours from home. He's spent the last three Easters with the same family. They have been so good to him and I am so apprciative. I would love a chnace to be that family for other kids.

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#81475 - 05/10/06 06:54 AM Re: getting closer
downdog Offline
Member

Registered: 03/18/06
Posts: 81
Loc: kansas
It's weird, it takes till you have kids to really start to respect your parents. Then when you're kids leave you began relate to your parents. For me, it's hard to see the generations changing...my kids becoming me, me becoming my parents, my parents becoming my grandparents. You know what I mean? How we viewed everyone when we were there age. (Passing the torch, I've heard it described).

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