I wish I could post a picture from my computer here. I'm 52 and I have 2 kids. Between my husband and myself we have 4 kids. We have grandkids.

But that's not the issue. Our kids are grown. I spent 20 years working and caring for my kids and family. I have paid_my_dues in this world as a wife and a mother. We now have the wherewithal for me to have some personal and financial freedom. My intention is to enjoy it before it before I die.

Here's the rub: I don't dress like an old lady-- ever!I still have a nice body, a good brain, and a caring outlook. We went out tonight and I was meeting my husband and some friends. I wore some new cute clothes. They were not too tight. My tits were not visible. There was no part of my anatomy showing, and yet....(keep in mind we are not in America) I overheard some young guys say "she's a little old for those clothes.....

Frankly, I looked good. Makeup, black pants and a new top and boots. Not over the top by any stretch. No cleavage, no tummy, no excess. But I'm nobody's image of what *mama* should look like. I make no apologies for that. I may be a 'mama' but MY kids were not there.

So why do men think that if you're over 30 you can't be hot or sexy?? Why do they think that women "old enough to be their mothers" should be at home knitting potholders?! You know what? I'm not your mother and I ain't knitting no potholders and stirring borsht. I'm still kicking.

I've heard it from my dad who says "aren't you a little long in the tooth to be shoveling snow?" (No!) I've heard it from my son who says "You're an old lady! You can't go out looking like that!" ( Watch me,oh yes I can)

You know what I think?? I think men have this vision of older women (their mothers) who had immaculate conception in their youth and then went on to be sweet grandmas who baked immaculate pies. I think men can't coneive of women over 40 who are hot and sexy and still very much alive.

I'm tired of people telling me that I don't dress my age. I'm tired of people telling me to act my age. By god, I'm 52 years old and I am a long way away and far from looking or acting like anybody's grandma. I'm still very much a viable and sexual woman. Why do men resent this so very much?? Why do they think that women over 40 are sexually deceased and should dress as such? I refuse!

So somebody tell me why as a woman over 50 I should dress like a nun, and why they become so offended when I do NOT? Do I upset their tidy little world when I show up as an older woman with a sexuality? Is this not what ya'll had in mind for your mother?? As mothers are we supposed to ditch our sexiness for some kind dowager matronliness to keep up appearances? Fiddlesticks!

I'll tell ya, I'm p*ssed. Those young bohunks can kiss my grits, cause I'm not dead yet!

Immaculate pies...

Yea...I'll second that.
Kiss the grits.

Don't be listening to these boys...it takes a real man to appreciate a woman with flavor and taste.

A while back I was watching one of those E! gossip shows about what women wore to the Oscars. The commentators just shredded Susan Sarandon (over 50) for wearing a glorious ballgown because she was "too old" to be showing that much cleavage. She looked great. Her cleavage looked great.

Who makes these rules that say we need to go around covered up *appropriately* in tow sacks with just our heads sticking out the top because we're somehow too old to have figures that bespeak a womanly sexuality? I did not turn into a pumpkin at the age of 40.

I don't know who makes the rules, but I think they're beginning to change.

Our generation has changed everything from the time we were infants. The world has had to cater to us due to our numbers.

Retailers are beginning to realize they are missing out on the boomer market. That's why Chico's, J Jill, and Coldwater Creek are opening more stores all the time. They cater to boomer women. Gap also recently opened a store for us called Forth and Towne.

We can't wear the young junior look, but we don't want stretch pants and house coats either. I think the industry is beginning to catch on. I sure hope so.

Where does everyone clothes shop?

I have gotten a few pairs of pants at Ann Taylor Loft. They aren't the high rise that make your butt look huge, nor are they the low rise that make you look like the plumber when you bend over. They are respectable hip-huggers and I love them.

I am more conservative, but I do like my above the knee skirts in the summer with a dressier t-shirt. I want to wear my clothes, I don't want my clothes to wear me.

I'm like you Mrs. Madness, as long as I am decent and not dressing like a teenager, what does it matter. I still look the same as I did 10 years ago for the most part, and I'm not going to start dressing like "Mamma" in the Carol Burnett Show. Rolled down knee-highs are not for me.

Daisygirl

Mrs. Madness, don't be too hard on the poor mis-informed young men! Their attitudes are the product of the messages sent out by the visual media, and our society in general. Let's face it, gals, when was the last time you saw a woman fity and over in some slick fashion magazine, or in the movies or on television, dressed in a way other than staid, or down-right frumpy? Believe me, if she was appareled in anything approaching provacative, she was most likely being characterized, or portrayed as some foolish, laughable, trying-desperately-to-hang-on-to-her-youth type.

Attitudes are changing, but it's an uphill battle, when faced with the bad, or non-existent press women fifty and over receive, at the hands of the mega-powerful visual media!

http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

I keep remembering how OLD people even in their thirties seemed to me when I was in my twenties. Now I think how YOUNG and immature people in their twenties seem to me.

I guess each age has its prejudices and you just have to ignore those that bother you.

smile

Wearing cute younger fashion is fine for the woman who has the figure to pull it off gracefully but there is nothing worse than a out of shape woman (at any age) trying to squeeze into slim cutsie fashions. They look ridiculous.

I think we are all smart enough to know whether we look good when we look at ourselves in the mirror...I think fashion is a form of self expression...and I agree with Dotsie about how the retailers are now appealing to designers to keep the 40+ women in mind now when they are creating their lines...I love some of the things my daughters (21, 24,27) wear...and lots of times I'll borrow a top or a jacket from them...and pair it up with my own jeans or skirts...but I have my own look...and I like to go out looking like me...not my daughter , or my friend...but myself...in something that makes me feel good about myself...and lately I feel good in things that are slightly tailored and fit me well...since I lost 30+ lbs in the past year I don't like anything that is the least bit baggy...but I can't stand tight either...too much a reminder of my "fat days"....I have found some great outfits in Ann Taylor Loft and I also love The White House/Black Market....they have trendy things without being over the top if you know what I mean...

Actually there is a good example of what I'm talking about right here on this very website. On the Boomer women speak homepage here is a book promo titled "Aphrodite in Jeans." The cover photo is of an alluring woman in a cute tight little outfit who is presumably, midlife. I sometimes wear similar clothes and that's when I hear the comments about being too old, reliving my youth, past my prime, etc. etc....Yeah, and the outfit she's wearing didn't come from Coldwater Creek either!

[ February 07, 2006, 06:18 AM: Message edited by: mrs_madness ]

Ladies, I remember my youngest daughter, about fourteen at the time, and a trip we took, shopping for clothes. We were both shopping in the Junior section of a department store. I had been trying on jeans,and had tried on a pair that showed my figure to best advantage, with a fitted blouse. Another shopper made the comment to me that I looked great. As I went back into the changing room, my daughter, who had seen me in my new outfit, wandered off among the racks, to shop elsewhere. A few minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder, as I was going through another rack of clothes, and turned to find my daughter standing there, holding up a pair of hot pink, polyester, elastic waist pants. She gave me this smile and said, 'Isn't this what you should be wearing, at your age?' I was thirty-seven at the time.

Of course, this was a joke, and all in fun, and even I had a good laugh at the time. But, later, when I thought about it, I wondered if maybe there wasn't some small grain of real feeling, on my daughter's part, in the little performance. A young teenage girl, coming face to face with her mom's, heaven forbid! womanliness, her sexuality!

A good deal of this age bias against we mature women, may indeed, have been felt at first, right in our own homes. A foreshadowing of what we would face, in years to come, in society at large.

http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

Blondi, I just bought a top from White House Black Market. Every year we go to a black tie affair at the zoo. We go with a bunch of friends and refer to it as "the prom." I found a really neat sleeveless top with beading that I thought would look great with a pair of black fitted dress pants. That's about as black tie dressy as I get. I love that store.

My daughter bought a tasteful strapless black and white dress there that looks precious on her.

Dotsie..I'll bet you look fantastic in your new beaded top...did you check out some of the dressy shoes they have this year...I have my eye on a fabulous pair but I'm waiting for them to go on sale( At Black and White)...I noticed they mark down everything every 6 week when their new stuff arrives...also...if you sign up with them they give you 5% off each purchase and send you lots of coupons throughout the year including a $10.00 gift certificate for your birthday...little things like that keep me coming back to a store..

That Black and white store sounds great. I've got to check it out.

I don't dress my age either. I am very slim and have to buy most of my clothes in the junior dept., especially pants and skirts. It is getting harder and harder to find things that won't make me look like a Boomer-wanna-be-teenager. I keep hoping the retailers will realize that there are slim "women" who want to dress nice.

I'm not in bad shape either but I don't want to wear skimpy, tight tops nor low-rise spandex stretch jeans. Not looking for matronly but I know I'm not a teen anymore and I'd like to get a classier look. But nowhere can be found something for my age (late 50's). We still spend. Can the designers and retailers realize that?

There are several good clothing stores for women over 30. Talbots is classic, J Jill is more casual, Ann Taylor is classic chic, Ann Taylor Loft is younger classic chic, just to name a few. These are more high end, but you can still get good clothing at a fair price if you wait for sales and shop the outlets. By the way, Talbots is in the process of buy J Jill.

Daisygirl

Blondi, I am not a shoe person. I don't know what my problem is. I guess I'm too picky. You must talk shoes with Dianne!

I'm not sure the store here has shoes. Maybe they do, but I haven't seen them. That shows you how little I care about them. I'm working on it though. Much better about spring and summer shoes.

Mom always said I never took my feet with me when I got shoes as a kid. I got home and nothing ever felt right.

Daisy, the clothes at J Jill always look so nice, but I don't like them on me when I try them on. Weird. Are they kinda baggy?

Actually, I just bought something there for the first time. It's a longer skirt that is fitted from the waist then flares out a little. I'm only 5'3" and I usually don't look very good in a fuller skirt, but the fabric is soft and that makes a difference. I also bought a t-shirt/sweater, long sleeves that I will wear belted with it. I'm just not sure what type of shoes to wear.

I have a week long business meeting to attend that is business casual and have been searching for some cute things to wear.

I'm like you, I do like the J.Jill clothes, until I try them on.

Dotsie...I wear alot of black...especially when it comes to dressy clothes...I always feel polished in black...so I usually go colorful with my accessories....like a fantastic belt and great shoes..I was watching the Style channel the other night and they said this year White is really in ...but that to spice it up you should add a great pair of red or turquoise shoes...I'm going to assume that will hold true with black too...so now I am on a mission to find some fabulous turquoise shoes...DSW shoe warehouse...here I come!!!

Daisygirl, I'm short too. Is the skirt almost ankle length?

Why not a pair of butter-soft, fitted leather boots in a very plain, but dressy style?

[ February 09, 2006, 12:20 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

You know, boots are a good idea. My meeting is in southern CA, but the weather there is still pretty cool and the boots are all on clearance now.

Your outfit sounds beautiful Daisy...Ladybug's boot idea sounds perfect...i think boots with the longer skirts always look so sharp....another pretty option especially for a warmer climate would be Espadrilles with a wedge and ones that tie around the ankle...they look fabulous with the longer flirty skirts!!!...Have fun boot/shoe shopping!!!

I like AvalonBlondi's idea too. Daisygirl, if you have a Kaufmann's nearby you'll find they are having some great sales in which you could wind up with those boots and espadrilles both for the price of one pair you'd normally pay.

I don't know about anyone else's DSW but our Kaufmann's carries the same shoes they do at a lower price when you consider the 20% off coupons they usually have in the paper.

Turquoise is a hot color right now too Avalonblondi. What are you buying your shoes to go with? I did purchase a leather blazer in that color with a matching ribbed t-neck. The color looks nice with my auburn hair.

OOOOOOO...I bet that turquoise blazer looks fabulous on you Ladybug!!...We don't have a Kaufmann's in Philadelphia , but I used to work in Kaufmann's when I was in High school and we lived in Pittsburgh...I hadn't thought about it in years until I just read your post!!! Now I'm lost in memories...

Back in my high school days Kaufmanns was called The May Co.

I had my first job at 15 years old earning $1.05 an hour. With one of my earlier paychecks I bought a dress at May Co. I had to put it in law away until I had enough saved to take it out. My kids are amazed at how little I earned. They also realize things way back then didn't cost as much either.

I don't recall how much money I made then ...but I worked in the "teen department" and was on Kaufmann's Teen Board...it was so much fun...we did fashion shows sometimes and I received a 50% discount on clothing and cosmetics...so that made my Mom very happy...

I do remember babysitting for a family of 5 kids all under the age of 8...every saturday and sunday when I was 13 to 15...for 25 cents an hour while the parents golfed...they would be gone for 5 plus hours and I would come home with a dollar and a quarter...that was the hardest job...I was so excited when I was finally 15 and could get my working papers....

Yeah, that's right AvalonBlondi, if you were under the age of 16 you had to get a "work permit" for a job. I remember getting mine from the Lyndhurst Board of Education and then going downtown to fill out an application for my social security number.

I got my first work permit at age 14 1/2 that was the earliest one could work. I went to work part time at Kresges Five & Dime in the candy department. Can't remember what I was making but am sure it wasn't much. Every week the store manager gave me a huge bag of chocolates to take home for free, they only kept the chocolate so long before throwing it out. I coinsidered that a real perk at the time. Things were so much simpler then weren't they?

yes...much!!!

Kresge's? I loved that place, but the closest to our home was Benjamin Franklin's Five and Dime. They had the candy aisle to die for.

One of my very first boyfriends Gene George father owned the Ben Franklins in Indiana. I got free stuff from there all the time and rode around behind him on his big black motorcycle. I felt like Olivia Newton John and he was my John Travolta. Oh be still my heart!!!

Oh gosh, remeber them in, oh gosh, what's the name of that movie? Oh yeah...Grease? I loved that movie.

I worked in a skating rink for three years as my first job. Talk about getting to see all the guys...wuhooo! And the owners gave me a precision pair of skates and pompoms...sigh. Life was so simple when the most major decision you had to make was whether to get solid color pompoms, or half-in-half...

JJ

Nice memories, JJ!

My guidance counselor back in high school told me then that "these are the most carefree days of your life, enjoy them."

I never forgot that wonderful lady even if I did wonder at that time if she was right. I think she was.