Last year my daughter came home and told me about a boy at school.

The boy is gay and his parents are aware of it. The father is convinced that if he makes his son date girls he'll become "normal." The boy says his father beats him because of his reluctance to cooperate. The boy has dated girls at his father's urging and one of the girls even admitted she had no idea he was gay while they were dating. He has "come out of the closet" now. Unfortunately this honor roll student also dropped out of school because of the teasing other boys did to him. I cried when I heard this.

One of the women on our street works for the county as a child advocate. I went to her with what I knew. She told me to write down everything and she'd bring it to her boss to see what could be done. I was worried what could happen since the boy was only 17 at the time. I was assured that the father would be asked to take parenting classes and the boy would not be put in foster care. I also worried that the father would beat his son even more if he became aware that the son was talking to others about the abuse.

She came back to me saying that unless I had seen the father beat his son or the son was willing to admit his father beat him there was nothing they could do. They could not even talk to him (the father).

I can fully understand that authorities get all kinds of false reports and they must be very careful when investigating them. I was falsely led to believe that you can call abuse hot lines to report this sort of thing but it seems in reality it really isn't the case. Has anyone else ever tried to speak up for a child?

I haven't, but this ppor boy will probably end up marrying a woman, then discovering later in life that he did it for all the wrong reasons. So sad.

Oh, this reminds me of someone I know who has tried wholeheartedly to report a group of people she believes to be connected with some form of illegal business. NO ONE will listen to her. It's pathetic.

Seems like everyone has rights nowadays...right to be cruel to their own flesh and blood and not have to answer for their wrongs, in the here and now.
Like an abuser will let you view the abuse, so he/she can be reported.
Sad state of affairs we have reached.

This boy came to our house once when he was part of a study group with my daughter. After everyone else went home he asked me if he could stay longer and finish his other home work. I thought it was a bit odd since he didn't know us at all but I was flattered that he was obviously comfortable here. When I drove him home I wanted so much to be able to tell him to be true to who he really is. This was even before I had heard about the abuse and knew he was gay.

The last I heard, before he left school, he had become very promiscuous with other boys at school.

It used to be that people looked after each other, now days, everyone looks after themselves and not even that! Society as a whole has created a monster that needs others to feed itself. If you discipline a child, the parent instead of thanking you will suit you. If you take sides between quarreling couples, you may end up dead; besides she "loves the way he loves her...",does not presses charges, and will probably cease to spleak to you. if you try to do for someone who is young and alone, you are probably suspected of being either gay and trying to "take advantage of the person", but if the person is old, you'll be accused of trying to rip them off... teachers can no longer stay inside their classroom with students alone- for their own protection; after all, they may be accused of sexually abusing the child, people can no longer give "rides" on their car to other people for fear that if they are involved in an accident; that person who is riding with you,and probably doing a favor to, , may also sue you. If someone fall, you have to leave them on the floor, if you help them up, the next thing is that since you moved them now they are permanently injured, and you are liable. Yes, we, as a society had so many rights, that in the process have eliminated any urges to come to anyone's rescue...can't have friends if you are not a friend.For years we live on the same block, yet other than maybe saying good morning,we may not even know our neighbor's name... we look down while riding an elevator, do not keep eye contact with other people, our hand shake gives us away...soft, and uninviting. So how can anyone trust us or we them? Goverment agencies get funding based on the number of cases the agency has... clients are not people they care about, but numbers, the means of people keeping their/our jobs. Services are not given out of love or concecerned; but rather because they mean $$$ to be charged, or a keep a file open... the boy will survive. Foster care would not necessarily be better or more caring than those he lives with...Unfortunatelly, in a free, democratic society where economy depents on consumerism, even a needy mix boy can become part of this buss. it is unfortunate, but true.We are becoming dangeously independent... Too bad, at some point we will depend on other peoples and noone will bew there, after all, we are loners
Aren't we?

Maritza, I couldn't agree with you more. Its a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation trying to help someone.

The Good Samaritan would probably have been suspected of being the wounded man's boyfriend or sued for having him moved, the inn where they took him would need a major credit card and identification and the hospital would have refused him without medicaid...AND while the wounded man was recuperating his cell phone would have been cut off for non payment and sent to collections, his children would have been taken to foster care by the department of children and families, a "well-meaning" individual who did'nt bother to get the details surrounding his "neglect" would have called it in. In this state, the children would then have been abused by the foster parents and/or lost...and the foster parents would have gotten off with a slap on the hand.

The children would have been traumatized by the whole event and would need counseling which the recuperating father couldn't pay for because his wages are too low because he isn't being paid a living wage, yet too high for medicaid, so they won't get the counseling they need...
and on and on it goes.

Meantime the Good Samaritan hires a good lawyer because he has loads of money which he acquired because he own the company where the wounded man works and is on the board of directors. He can afford to be "Good" because he can hire the best lawyers money can buy and his bottom line is padded as a result of paying the wounded man a whopping $7 an hour with questionable benefits.

"Good" is out of trouble and his friends and family are clapping him on the back for being such a good chap while clinking their martini glasses together at the club and the local society rag is ringing him up for an interview and photo session....

I just came back from a nursing home, they had an open house for social workers from different hospitals; non treatening? think again. you get sick, go to a hospital, give personal info. income info. social security No., who do you live with, do you have insurance? a living will, own a home, married?advanced directives? ALL of these questions can tip a "well meaning" ($) social worker or health service worker to identify you as a "turkey to be eating for thanksgiving... you need to go to rehab. ( usually these are Rehab./ Nursing homes... minimun therapy, a fall or two, some psychotropics- after all you need to relax... but you want to go back home! Yes, problem is, that you according to these "experts"you cannot be by yourself at this time, and if you insists, they call the Department of Children and Families to report that you are a danger to yourself. after all, you should have better sense than that! who knows... maybe you are demented, well, since you are obviously not thinking straight, the department will file a case with the Probate/Guardianship Circuit court; that will send 3 people to determine if you are indeed able to make decisions on your own...probably not, after all you want to go home, they want you to stay there, but you keep on complaining, get frustrated cursed, and try to get up to leave...YOU have just justified the need for a professional court appointed guardian to make decision for you.After all, your decision are pretty f... up, and with all of your resources and no family, you are indeed the turkey they will have for thanksgiving,...ABUSE? elder abuse, is child abuse in reverse. YOU have a "handicap" the
children and cute, and you are probably ugly! you have wringles, hair needs to be styled, you are walking around with your but hagging out--they should provide a better fitted gown... people ignore you, doctors make your treatment decisions based via phone, or a minute visit while you are eating at the cafeteria, or sleeping for that matter, based on the caretakers notes, or hearsay... soon, you have been appointed a professional court appointed guardian, and they have hired an attorney-- in all probability someone who is listed on their application as a reference! soon, everyone is "logging" against your property, investment, etc. but nobody listens, after all, you have been declared incomptent. too depresing even for me to describe what YOUR FUTURE will be. Child abuse you say? how about elder abuse? with 77 million baby boomers soon to be retired, WE have become the greatest bussiness these people can count on. But our ignorance or FEAR to face what may be, stops us from looking at all of those old, needed people stuck in nursing homes, for fear of seen ourselves in their eyes... cowards! just remember that you will get what you reap.Children get rape at institution, and so do the elders... children are listen to, elders "make it up" after all they are demented..Yeap...,.sit back and let it happened, you may just be the next victim...

Maritz, that's true. I am concerned and have thought for years that a better answer to nursing "homes" would be large homes that are acquired by the elderly themselves, group homes where three people or couples or more live together, share expenses, chores, or maybe they can afford to hire a housekeeper, lawn guy, grocery shopper, etc.

They each have their separate quarters but share common rooms. They help each other out and if a visiting nurse is needed or transportation, that could be arranged also.

A facilitator would visit one or more of the homes twice a week. They would have a dog or cat, and attend bingo, golf, vacation trips, but all planned within their own small group.

Also, I guess poverty can be a blessing in disguise..... No one is going to fight over MY huge fortune. I don't even have a retirement fund....my retirement is to work until I drop dead on the job or bond slave to a wealthy family like my grandmother did. She worked for the wealthiest woman in the US until she couldn't work any longer. The lady gave her a nice room, a car, salary, took trips with her, and my grandmother was her cook and companion.