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#80282 - 12/15/05 07:18 PM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Chatty, that is so very true! I remember the "honeymoon" during the holidays while living w/ my abuser, it was charming and my eyes were glazed over! Yet, did not last very long. Gosh, I recall him returning some of my gifts after the holiday spirit left him to punish me for not spending more money on him! Well heck, he bruised me!
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#80286 - 12/16/05 07:31 PM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
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Good for her... sounds like it was the final straw.
Sounds as if she was listening to what you had to tell her.
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#80287 - 12/16/05 07:56 PM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
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In my twenties, I left an abusive husband at Christmas time. I had carefully planned it and when everything came together at Christmas, I got out.
The worst part for me was that I had left my job to be with him in California. He had a lot of money, but refused to give me anything to buy Christmas gifts for my family so I sewed all my old fabric into pretty pillows for them. I used what money I had for gifts for my kids.
Though I never intended to ever be with him again, I told him I was going to take a job in our home state and he could follow later when he finished a project he was working on for the Whitehouse.
He insisted on driving me back home for Christmas with his family and mine. He strapped the gifts for my kids and his gifts for his kids on top of my van. We arrived at Mom and Dad's house on Christmas Eve. During the night I got up to play Santa and all of the gifts for his kids were intact, but my girl's gifts had blown off the van. I have never been so sad on Christmas before.
But I scrambled and re-wrapped the gifts intended for me from my husband and parents and gave them to my girls. Somehow Christmas turned out as great as ever and I was out of that mess never to go back. Within a month, I was at my new job, had miraculously bought a house, and had the kids in school.
It was the hardest Christmas I can ever remember.
smile [ December 16, 2005, 11:58 AM: Message edited by: smilinize ]
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#80288 - 12/17/05 08:46 AM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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An AH is just a bigger AH when he's been drinking. Daisygirl
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#80289 - 12/16/05 11:15 PM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Smilinize, great story! Your a success!
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#80291 - 12/17/05 02:24 AM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
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Your ring reminded me of my ex....
He was military and had to leave in Nov. for a oversea cruise.
He had just moved the (4) kids and I into a 120 year old house. You could lay in bed at night and literally see the stars. The only heat was a fireplace, & it was missing several bricks.
Small rickety fence lined the drive-way to the house. Before leaving he tore the fence down and stacked it near the back door...so I would have firewood for winter.
He left without filing an allotment... (pay that goes to spouse while member is stationed overseas).
The twins were just babies, Josh 2 and Tracey 6.
Within a few weeks...funds were non-existent, I drove to town, and sold my wedding rings... Those rings meant absolutely nothing at that point.
I received enough money to buy a goat. The twins had been diagnosed with milk allergies, the doctor recommended goat milk. I lived 1 1/2 hr. from the nearest commissary or grocery store. The goat had to be milked morning and night, and she loved to try to ram and kick you.
Fence he left for winter firewood was gone in a night...thank goodness it was California and not as cold as it could have been.
I found work at the base in the dining hall...the chief, and fellow cooks provided me with enough food to cover till payday.
It didn't take long before a couple of the local service men showed up with truck loads of firewood for our fireplace.
Found myself working with the local ombudsman, who immediately reported him to his commanding officer. The following month I had the allotment he should have filed before leaving.
That was the turning point for me... any man who can't provide for his children isn't worth the time of day.
I kept my job and saved for the time I would be able to leave. It took longer than I predicated.
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#80293 - 12/18/05 03:21 AM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 08/08/05
Posts: 816
Loc: Fredericksburg, Va.
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That was only one of many horror stories I went through with him.
Funny...how one thing can jog your memory. Just mention of your wedding ring, brought it all back.
Thank God, for all the loving people he placed in my path then.
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#80298 - 12/22/05 01:56 AM
Re: DV and Holidays
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Member
Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
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Years ago I worked at a department store at Christmas for the holiday season and a man and woman started fighting right there in the store!
Daisygirl
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