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#80208 - 11/14/05 06:40 PM Re: former professional help (?)
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
I know, Norma. My blood ran cold when I read it.

Lynnie, I called my son last night and we had a long talk. Seems Tash refuses to follow the rules of the house. She graduated midterm and refuses to get a job. He told her she had to be home by a certain time during the week because he can't sleep until he knows she's home and safe and she also refused to follow that rule. He bought her a car and all she does is complain about what a piece of crap it is. On and on.

But, this is what really bothers me. She's been living with a married couple who have a young child. I don't know if they want a built in babysitter or what but I asked my son about this woman and he said she had given Tash pot and alcohol. She also called her and said they are moving to CO and does she want to move with them!!! I'm really doing some fast talking to talk her out of that! My son says this woman doesn't require anything of Tash...no responsibility...nothing. When my son called this woman and confronted her, she hung up on him.

I've been telling her she has to get into a trade school of some kind or find a job at a bank when she turns 18 in January. I'm doing a lot of talking but I can't tell if she's really listening or not.

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#80209 - 11/15/05 08:48 AM Re: former professional help (?)
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi Dianne, you've heard both sides of the story. When I ran away from home at 17 I lived with a family. The mother called my mother periodically to let her know I was safe. There was no animosity between my family and my "adoptive" family. My family said they couldn't "deal" with me anymore. I couldn't "deal" with my family anymore! I was safer with the other family for a summer. At least there was cooperation, not hang ups. I think your granddaughter should be applying to schools now, or have a job now. Preparation takes time. It sounds like moving to CO will not solve anything but only present more problems.

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#80210 - 11/15/05 07:18 PM Re: former professional help (?)
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
We continue to have long, probing talks every night as we sit on the front porch. I think she's listening to me but not sure. I did upset her when I told her what I'd like to do to that 40 year old woman (kick her a**) and told her good people didn't give alcohol to 17 year olds.

I'm very frank and honest with her. I spoke to her about birth control last night. I think she was shocked that I brought it up. I told her the decisions she's making now could very well determine the outcome of her adult years. Be smart!

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#80211 - 11/16/05 08:37 AM Re: former professional help (?)
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Dianne, KEEP TALKING. They love it, whether they admit it, or not.

As far as the other family goes, it could be a blessing, if the family has their heads on straight. Big if.

You are a wonderful grandmother. Keep doing what you're doing. LOVE HER!

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#80212 - 11/16/05 12:12 AM Re: former professional help (?)
ladybug Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 1402
Reading all this is so sad. My former neighbor was sexually abused as a toddler by her grandpa. She's 49 now and still bears the scars. She called me one day in tears telling me she was going to get in her car and turn on the engine with her then, toddler. I calmed her down and told her what a wonderful mother she was and that suicide was not the answer. Today she is doing a lot better and even adopted a beautiful little Chinese girl that her and husband brought back from Beijing in September.
As for parents putting out their young teenage children, I cannot fathom it. My home is always a safe haven for my children. I've tried to teach my daughter about being aware of abusive men and that if she ever made the mistake of marrying one she should leave and come back home if she needed to.
I've also read that for some reason some women are actually attracted to serial killers and other equally dangerous men! I read about California's Night Stalker a guy named Ramirez or something close to that. He's got hundreds of women admirers!
Thank God people are talking about abuse now and making everyone more aware of it. Thank you, brave women who tell their stories so that the world can know about it.

[ November 15, 2005, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: ladybug ]

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#80213 - 11/21/05 08:52 AM Re: former professional help (?)
Happy Birthday Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Ladybug wrote: "Thank you, brave women who tell their stories so that the world can know about it." I decided to acknowledge this and say hey, I think she might have meant me, for one! I should say, "You're welcome!" I think that some women are attracted to dangerous men because they have been in perilous relationships and they gravitate toward the familiar. Or, the concept of the moth to the flame.

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#80214 - 11/21/05 06:36 PM Re: former professional help (?)
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Geraldo will air today. Hope you can watch it.

Lynnie, I had a huge argument with my mother last night. I feel like I'm a bad daughter but I just couldn't take her saying bad things about my aunt, her sister, who recently passed away. I just went off on her. I'm gonna need some help from those of you who suffered at the hands of an abusive parent.

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#80215 - 11/21/05 06:44 PM Re: former professional help (?)
unique Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 483
Loc: North Carolina
Get rid of the guilts, Dianne. Guilt is a trap that abusive people know how to use. Waaay better than we ever will. If you warned her to be quiet about a subject and she kept pressing, she deserves whatever you said. Maybe she'll be mad at you now and give you a little peace.

I hate it when parents play the guilt card. Mine never did, but the ** STB ex's mom did. She was a master and she ruined all of her children with it. She puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional. [Frown]

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#80216 - 11/21/05 09:17 PM Re: former professional help (?)
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Thanks Unique. I'll post more later.

Okay ladies, start praying. Geraldo is sending a car for me in 30 minutes to take me to the studio for my interview. I've done two pre-interviews with his producer, which went very well. Please pray there are battered women who will see this short interview and change their lives. Thanks so much!!!

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#80217 - 11/22/05 12:25 AM Re: former professional help (?)
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
Good luck Dianne. My prayers that God will guide those who need to hear you. You are making a difference in someone's life today. God Bless you for believing.
chick

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